Knights in Rusty Armour
by TillyTiger
Summary: Severus Snape found himself staring into a pair of light hazel bespectacled eyes and blinked. They were still there. What had seemed like a second ago, those eyes had been of the brightest green, Lily's eyes, he was sure of it.
1. The Great Cosmic Joke

**Disclaimer: It's all Jo Rowling's. I just like to play with her toys every now and then. Cheers!**

**Chapter One**

**The Great Cosmic Joke**

Severus Snape found himself staring into a pair of hazel bespectacled eyes and blinked. They were still there. What had seemed like a second ago, those eyes had been of the brightest green, Lily's eyes, he was sure of it.

Trying to shake off the groggy feeling, he blinked several more times to get his vision into focus. He still wasn't connecting those eyes with a person he knew. He had a slight headache, like he had spent a night down in the dungeons reading in dull light.

'Oi, Snape, shake a leg.'

Upon realising who had spoke, impossible though it was, Severus groggily groped at his pocket for his wand, readying himself for a fight. To his dismay, he found that he wasn't dressed in his usual high necked billowing black robes, but something far softer. Cotton, he thought, as if he had come back from a particularly grisly Death Eaters meeting and Madam Pomfrey had placed him in the hospital wing under her caring albeit bossy charge. His wand wasn't in his pocket, and he hastily pulled himself up off the ground and away from the face that he so despised.

Rather than moving to humiliate the man in front of him, as he had done so many times before, James Potter remained as still as possible. He was not here to taunt the man.

'What the hell are you doing here, Potter? This isn't possible,' he muttered to himself absently, searching for an explanation that fit. It occurred to him that this may be a dream; whilst he kept his dreams heavily occluded so that others may not enter, he had on occasion dreamt of his old nemesis, though never anything quite as strange as this.

Before Potter had the chance to answer, Severus demanded, 'Am I dreaming?'

Rather than answering, James moved towards the other man, who very deftly stepped back, and seemed to glide around a corner that had materialized behind him. James rolled his eyes.

'I'm not going to curse you, Snape,' he called. Guarded, Severus held himself in his defensive position, whilst the messy-haired wizard raised his hands to show a lack of arms. 'No wand, Snape.' He saw Snape peering around the corner, then hesitantly step a little closer.

Staying dead still until the Potions Master had reached the middle of the room, James waited patiently. Quick as a python, he struck.

'Bloody OW!' roared Severus, who, James thought, was quite comical the way he leaped back at a little pinch on the arm. 'What was that for?'

James shrugged. 'Lily always pinched me when I asked if I was dreaming.'

'Imbecile,' Severus spat pithily, rubbing his arm. Rather than being offended, as Severus would have been, Potter smiled and shrugged. 'And what, may I ask, is that supposed to prove?'

'That you aren't dreaming.' Again, the man shrugged. That was an irritating habit he had passed on to his son. Severus was seized with the urge to immobilise the man's shoulders. 'I don't really get it either.'

Severus wanted to reply with something scathing, retorting that if it was a dream, surely he would have woken up by now, just to get away from formerly big-headed toe rags that called themselves quidditch stars, but the man's casual mention of Lily had unnerved him. He turned away, pondering explanations for the predicament he found himself in.

'You're dead.' The voice that came from behind was clear and sure. Severus made no reply. He thought of what he had awoken to. Blue eyes, instead of the green eyes he had been staring into. Lily's eyes. No, he thought, her son's. Potter had been looking into his own black eyes, witnessing his humiliation as he lay wrecked and broken in the Shrieking Shack. It seemed observing Severus at his most vulnerable was a Potter family trait.

Brow already furrowed, he grimaced in pain as he realised what he had given Potter. The young Potter. The boy knew everything now. In his honourable Gryffindor way, he would probably be announcing his innocence and naming children after him and some such. Pathetic.

'Snape?' The man behind him now sounded soft and hesitant, sparking Severus' prickly nature into annoyance. Really, allow a man to reflect a while over the newfound fact that he was _dead_ before expecting him to trade spars with a person he had no desire to ever see again. Reining in his temper, Severus strained to bottle his emotions in the back of his mind.

'Where are we?' he asked simply.

'Uh, I have no idea.' The man looked unnerved at Severus outward show of calm and the change of topic. 'You tell me.' At this, Severus felt like glaring at the other man. Could he not just be a little helpful for once? Instead, he coolly inspected his surroundings. Mahogany walls, a great big Victorian looking desk and a roaring fire.

'Resembles a cross between my study and living room, without all the books. What do you mean you don't know? And why are you here?'

'It's your awareness we're in, not mine. If you chose this...' he looked around, '...dark, moody study, then that's what appears. From my understanding, you can change these surroundings if you wish.'

Severus immediately looked down at himself to find that thought had already transformed the pyjama-like clothes to his usual black garb. Immediately, he looked back up at the man, concentrating.

'But that doesn't extend to people, unfortunately. I do have to commend you on this comfy armchair though.' He smiled ruefully. 'As to why I'm here, I'm supposed to help you decide what to do.'

Severus felt like this was some huge cosmic joke. He didn't really believe in karma, but finding out he was dead, and being guided to what he supposed was some kind of afterlife by his childhood bully seemed a tad more than cruel. Whom had he pissed off in order for them to play this horrendous practical joke on him?

'You're supposed to help me? Why on Earth would I ever trust you to help me with anything?'

'Because there is nobody else. You aren't exactly close to a lot of people, Snape.' Severus scoffed.

'If it's closeness you're looking for, you certainly don't fit the bill.'

'No,' James agreed, beginning to tire of this argument.

'Then why the bloody hell am I talking to you? Can't I talk to someone I trust, or at least find tolerable?' Severus realised his voice was raised, and strived for outward control. This man was the last person he wanted to show any weaknesses.

'There weren't a lot of options.'

'So you say,' sniped Severus, losing control once more. 'What about Li-' Mortified at what he had almost revealed, Severus croaked 'Dumbledore?'

James swept over the stumble as if it had never happened.

'Dumbledore said that people too close to you could sway your decision, and that you were still too angry at him for him to "meddle".' He chuckled. Severus was not as amused as Potter seemed to be.

'That was not his decision to make!' he snarled, furious that once again, Dumbledore had his way with Severus' life, or even his afterlife.

James nodded. 'Dumbledore does like to play Merlin,' he acknowledged. 'But he is also right most of the time.'

Severus turned his back to the man, once again struggling for composure. He cast his mind for a topic to calm him, and began reciting in his mind the potions ingredients in their exact measurements required for the Wolfsbane potion. The man behind him shifted with unease at Severus' display of anger.

'Aren't you angry at him?' inquired Severus.

'Dumbledore?' asked James, confused. 'He was merely making the best of a bad situation. He couldn't have prevented Harry from becoming a horcrux.'

'No, but he could have-'

'Have what? Not given Harry everything in order to defeat Voldemort? Or told Harry he had to die? No, it was better this way.'

Severus stopped reciting under his breath, finally calm again, and turned to look at the man incredulously. Potter actually believed Dumbledore had done right by his son. He dismissed this, and locked eyes with the detested man.

'What are my choices?' he asked. James was once again unnerved by the man's ability to change subject so easily.

'Three,' he said simply. Severus lifted a brow.

'One. Become a ghost, walk the Earth forever, try to convince Muggles that you're in fact real, and all that.' At this, James paused, waiting for a response. Snape did not seem inclined to give one, but he waited the man out patiently.

After what seemed a full minute, Severus snapped, 'And?' He snarled at Potter, who still waited. 'Try to convince Muggles that I'm real! As if I'm a fool enough for that! Will you ever grow up?'

Potter raised an eyebrow. 'I'm twenty-one, Snape. I'll always be twenty-one, so _no,_ I won't grow up. And yes, I like to have a laugh occasionally, so get over it already.'

Severus just glared.

'Two,' Potter continued, as if nothing had happened. 'You can "go on" to a better place. Rainbows, and butterflies, and all that crap.'

'Will you be there?' asked Severus scathingly.

'Yup.' James grinned. 'It's not as bad as I made it out to be. There really aren't all that many butterflies.'

Severus rolled his eyes, then mentally berated himself for showing such a juvenile trait. Really, Potter was insane. The man was still grinning irritatingly.

'And the third?' he inquired, only just preventing himself from the urge to strangle the man. If only he had his wand...

'Three. You can go back. Live life again, make new choices, redeem yourself, whatever. You have a lot of regrets, Snape. Go back and right them.' Without a trace of the mirth he had shown only moments before, James waited on the man, watching the usually inscrutable face turn thoughtful.

Severus weighed the opportunities. Really, there were only two choices. To go on meant seeing Lily again, surely. But Lily would be the same, forever twenty-one and as unforgiving of Severus as ever. He had done things to her family which were simply unforgiveable. For Lily to look on him with that expression of hate again... it was more than he could stand.

The third option granted him the opportunity to rectify that hate. Severus imagined his life with Lily's friendship intact. He had never meant to become such a bitter, prematurely old man. Choices he had made in his youth, foolish decisions had dictated his life and left him entangled in a web in which he had no way out. It had cost him his one friend, and ultimately, his life. Severus knew, if he had the chance to live again, he would never make those choices again. But what had changed? If he went back, wouldn't he make the same choices, because he wouldn't have foresight? He would be just another ignorant teenager, making the same mistakes he once had before. Turning Lily against him like a fool, joining the death eaters, and being manipulated by Dumbledore. He didn't want to live through that again. He looked at the other man, who in turn was merely studying Severus as he thought.

'What's the catch?' he asked, suspicious.

'Catch?'

'The downfall. Catch, point that causes my demise, whatever. If I could simply go back and live again, what's to keep me from making the same choices, the same mistakes?'

'Ah. You really are a cynical, paranoid man, you know that?' Severus glowered. He had had to be suspicious of everyone, he was a spy for Merlin's sake! Was Potter daft? Potter shook his head. 'You would remember this life, Snape. I doubt you would make the same choices, yes? You were hardly the dark little greaseball that I accused you of being.' At this, Severus opened his mouth to eviscerate the other man with cutting insults of his own, but the man simply continued on. 'The catch, as you call it, would be starting life from your worst memory. You recall it, I suppose?'

Severus paled, if that was at all possible. Whenever able, he hid that memory in the recesses of his mind, and recalled it as little as he could. Now the memory washed over him, exposing his shame in front of Potter as he physically deflated.

Rather than exposing the hurt that the other man felt, James recalled sympathetically, 'I believe I featured prominently in that particular memory.'

Severus raised his eyes to glare at the other man. 'Yes,' he breathed, feeling tears start to well in his eyes. He wanted to lash out at the other man, scar him in some way for being so cruel, but the memory made him feel weak. At his breaking point, he slumped back in the armchair, no longer caring that Potter was there, and let his grief wash over him.

Witnessing this, James felt a rush of sympathy for the other man. He really had well and truly paid for his mistakes. One silly mistake and he had lost not only his one true friend, but an opportunity to escape the bad choices set out before him. With the clarity that only years of contemplation can bring, James could see that the man before him had just been a misguided adolescent who, after that day, had been surrounded by Voldemort's supporters. James' own behaviour at that age had hardly been exemplary. Why, his teasing of Snape had probably pushed the boy towards his dark contemporaries as a sort of protection.

'Snape?' He didn't respond, didn't appear to even hear. James repeated himself, louder, but Snape was wrapped in his grief.

'Severus.' The man raised his head, surprised at the use of his given name by his former rival.

'I am sorry.' The man looked aghast, confused and sad all at once at the apology that came out of nowhere. The normally inscrutable face seemed to have become undone in the grief that Snape was feeling. 'For our time at school,' James clarified. 'I was an idiot.'

'Don't.' Snape's voice was hoarse. 'If-' Severus closed his eyes, fighting the sick feeling that came. 'If you knew, you wouldn't be talking to me. W-what I've done, it's so much worse than you ever did to me.' Severus shuddered. 'If you knew-'

'-That you were in love with my wife? Why do you think I hated you so much, Snape? Lily loved you, and she hated me. Or was it that you gave the prophecy to Voldemort? I tell you, I had a cushy little vantage point up there, knew exactly what was going on-'

'You and your little friends were bullies before you ever became interested in Lily!' James barked a laugh, that out of all the things he had said, that was what the man fixated on. Snape seemed to become even more furious that James found humour in the subject. While James attempt at bringing Snape out of his misery had succeeded by giving the man an urge to argue, he was now facing an angry Snape, which James considered, was probably worse. He tried to backpedal.

'Look Snape, we're not here to argue about the past. You're dead, and yes, I'm here to help you decide what to do from here. Now, get over-'

'I'm not going to trust any "help" you would give me! You've never helped me before-'

'Fine!' Potter interrupted, looking thoroughly annoyed at being cut off repeatedly. Aristocratic arse, thought Snape satisfactorily.

'I see where Potter Junior gets his temper,' Snape smirked.

James ignored this taunt and sighed. Nothing would get through to this stubborn man. He simply would not listen to anything that he said, could not get Snape to accept that James wasn't the boy he had known at Hogwarts. He reflected on the advice he had received before coming to Severus Snape's angry consciousness.

'_Severus will be stubborn. He won't want to listen to you.' Dumbledore sat in the comfy armchair that corresponded to the one that had once sat in the Potter's living room. James, sitting on the couch next to Lily, frowned._

'_Then how will I get him to?'_

'_Use logic. Severus responds to rational arguments. If you illustrate that you are there to help him, he will accept that and allow you to present his options.' Lily shifted on the couch beside him. James turned and raised an eyebrow in question._

'_I don't think that Sev is_ that_rational,' she whispered. Dumbledore continued, oblivious to the nuances that only a husband would notice in his wife's behaviour._

'_You may find it disconcerting, James. The area around you will seem to change, or shift, as Severus regains awareness. Try not to take too much notice.'_

'_Sir?' Lily broke in._

'_It's Albus.' She merely smiled, as if this chivvying was a common occurrence from her late headmaster._

'_Albus. If Severus can shape his surroundings as you claim, then surely he will merely wish James gone. He isn't exactly his favourite person. No offence, honey,' she added, patting James' knee softly. He grinned lazily._

'_None taken.'_

'_No. Think about your own journey here.' Lily and James both smiled in memory. 'When someone dies, they need a guide to help them with make their decision, whatever that may be. That, ah, chaperon?' He nodded. 'Chaperon, is usually chosen by the people closest to the person in question.'_

'_What about his parents? I mean, my dad did it for me...' James trailed off as Lily started shaking her head beside him._

'_Severus was never close to his parents. Are you sure it has to be James?' Lily questioned worriedly. 'Surely it would be better... someone closer to him. You, Albus. Or- or me?'_

'_Lily,' Dumbledore said softly. 'You're not the best person for Severus to see right now. He has felt an almost crippling guilt where you are concerned, because of the past.'_

'_Severus has more than atoned for those actions,' she insisted. Albus shook his head._

'_I'm afraid Severus does not see it that way. He feels directly responsible for that Halloween, I believe.'_

'_Voldemort is responsible,' Lily stated miserably. Albus nodded._

'_And he wouldn't feel the same confronting me?' Asked James incredulously. 'I died that night too!'_

'_Ah, yes, but James, you're not in the same position. You're most definitely_not_Severus' friend, and I believe that will work to our advantage, give Severus fire, so to speak. You will see what I mean,' he added, seeing their confusion._

'_Then what about you?' James looked ashamed at asking, but in a very non-Gryffindor way, he was feeling nervous about seeing his old rival._

'_Severus is feeling a certain animosity towards me at the moment. Also, I do have... another person to help in the same way in which you are going to be helping Severus.'_

'_Oh,' said James dumbly. Then he regained his usual swagger and grinned._

'_Who would have thought that the afterlife could be so busy?' he joked. Lily gave him a look that silenced him for daring to joke about death so lightly._

'_Indeed,' Albus agreed in a serious tone, despite looking distinctly amused. 'I'll let you two...' In his intuitive way, Dumbledore stood and ambled over to the bookcase. James turned to his wife._

_Lily cupped a hand to his cheek._

'_Any advice?'_

'_Lay off the sarcasm. Sev doesn't like it, unless he's the one using it.' She smiled, apparently lost in memory. 'And be nice. You_will _be nice, won't you?' James thought that sounded more like an order than a request, but he smiled in return._

'_Yeah, I'll be nice.'_

'_Promise?'_

'_Promise.' He kissed her softly, and turned to Dumbledore, who had mimicked an interest in the books lining the room to let the couple have their moment of privacy. 'How do I get there?'_

'_Hmm? Oh, my dear boy, you already are.'_

_James blinked, and found himself crouching on the ground beside someone sprawled across the ground. Dumbledore and his vague explanations, he thought, irritated._

James broke himself out of his reverie, levelling his eyes with the man before him. The way to get Severus to listen was clear, although James was unsure if he could go through with the plan. It was deeply personal, and confronted jealousies that frankly, James wasn't sure he wanted to bring to the surface. He took a long breath, and was surprised to find it wasn't all that steady.

'_What?'_ questioned Severus, perturbed by Potter's sudden lack of speech. 'Sphinx got your tongue?'

'You trust Lily.'

Severus abruptly stopped talking. The man that he so detested opposite him looked as though the words had been dragged from him. He frowned at this new tactic.

'What are you-'

'You trust Lily,' James repeated, more forcefully.

'I... yes,' Severus admitted, still trying to see what Potter was up to.

'Lily trusts me. She entrusted me to come here and speak with you.'

'No, that's not-'

'So you should trust me, because she does.'

Severus looked flabbergasted at the revelation. Before the man had a chance to regain his composure enough to argue, James continued.

'So, your choices?'

Severus was silent. Potter's argument made sense, it did, but for one thing; Severus didn't want to. He felt a spark of jealousy that Lily trusted this man that had caused him so much humiliation. He raised his eyes to the other man's, and before he had a chance to argue, Potter exploded out of frustration.

'I told them! I told them I wasn't the right person to do this! But I did it anyway, because they told me I was the best person. And I have _tried_so hard to help you, because it was the right thing to do, and Lily wanted you to finally have peace. Dumbledore was wrong, you're not-'

'I don't want to be a ghost.'

Mid rant, James stopped with his mouth open and look of frustration still on his face.

'O-okay.'

His mind reeled. What had he done to convince the man?

Dumbledore was right, James thought. Severus was a rational man, with one exception. In every instance in which Lily was concerned, Severus Snape discarded logic and did exactly the opposite of what he rationally should.

_Lily wanted you to have peace_. That is what he had yelled. So Snape had let go of every reason not to trust James, and all his years of bullying to satisfy Lily's wishes.

'Dumbledore doesn't know you nearly as well as he thinks he does.'

'Doesn't surprise me,' muttered Snape.

'So, no see through, haunty Snape then,' he encouraged. 'What about the other options?'

'I don't know.' It seemed as if he didn't want to admit his uncertainty in front of James, but at least he was still discussing it, James supposed.

'Okay, so tell me about it, man. What are you thinking?'

Severus sighed. 'If I continue, then everything will be the same. Everyone will still look at me the same way as they always did. Nothing will have changed. To go back to that day though...' Severus paused, looking uncertain, but James waited him out. 'I'm not sure I could go through that again.'

An awkward silence formed, one that James was sure, that if he were to break, the other man would once again retreat behind his prickly defences. He resumed his earlier perusal of his surroundings to give the man time to consider his choices. The room had lightened somewhat, as if the emotional upheaval of earlier had unburdened the man himself and manifested itself in the surroundings. There was a picture of Lily on the mantel, James noticed with shock and more than a little discomfort. He still wasn't entirely sure how to deal with Snape's rather obvious feelings for a woman who was, after all, his wife. The picture itself was obviously muggle-made, as it didn't move, but had captured Lily in the middle of laughter, her face looking brightly into the lens. She couldn't have been more than fifteen years old, and James felt a pang of envy at the shared past the two had.

Severus, for his part, was not thinking of his options, but examining the other man. He had not seen him often since his days as a student of Hogwarts, and he had a sudden flash of Potter mussing up his hair when Lily was around. An irrational spark of irritation at the other man had him demanding, 'Well?'

Potter startled, and turned to look at Severus questioningly. 'You would like my opinion?' he asked, confused.

'Isn't that your purpose here?' came the pithy response.

'Er, well, not exactly. I'm not supposed to influence your decision.' Severus merely raised an eyebrow as if to say, _you think that_ you _could influence me?_'Um, okay. Well, let's say you take the first option and go on, you know, butterflies and whatnot. Not everything would be the same. People know what you've done in the past, yes, but they also know the actions you have taken to make up for it.' Severus began to protest but James continued as if he couldn't hear. He had asked for his opinion, albeit not exactly politely, but he would get it, whether he wanted it or not. 'Now, I know, that you don't believe those actions make up for what you have done -Dumbledore-' he explained on the questioning look, '-but others do. Lily forgave you a long time ago. We all do things in our youth which we regret, Snape. I trusted Peter,' he finished bitterly, not looking at Severus, but down at the floor.

Severus gathered that this was a topic that made Potter feel shame and vulnerability. Oh, how he must have _felt_, thought Severus smugly, when one of his vaunted Marauders stabbed him in the back! Rather than prey on this vulnerability as he would have earlier however, Severus merely asked 'And the other?'

James considered. 'This... opportunity, it isn't given as an option to everyone. I didn't get this choice. I believe you were given it because you gave your whole life to the cause, and never got the chance to really live your life for you. You have a chance to start fresh. That memory, it's horrible. But it's just one day, right?'

'You make salient points for both,' Severus admitted.

'But?' Severus, usually so pithy and often cutting with other people, hesitated, and James felt a frission of frustration at the man's tendency to be closemouthed. 'Out with it,' he instructed. Severus sighed.

'I... want Lily.' James didn't move a muscle. It wasn't the reaction Severus had been expecting, so much so that he found himself asking, 'Did you hear what I just said?'

'Yeah,' James replied, nonchalant and shrugging his shoulders. 'It's not like I didn't already know that, Snape. What I want to know is how it affects your decision.'

Both men were shocked. Neither had anticipated that the other would be willing to discuss the other's love so matter-of-factly. But the fact was, both men wanted the same woman, and during the hours it seemed since James Potter had found himself staring into the eyes of Severus Snape, they had both accepted it. It was an intricate puzzle, and one they had to solve together, or not at all.

'Fine,' Severus intoned. 'First option; I "move on". I will be welcomed, you say, redeemed of my misdeeds and forgiven. I will get to see people again, be in a community where I am not universally hated as the Dark Lord's servant, and treated as such. I will see Lily again.' He paused and locked eyes with the other man, and in that moment, James knew that Snape had made his decision, but not yet what it was. He yearned for the other man to continue, and he did, their eyes never wavering from the other's. 'But she will always be _your_ Lily.' James closed his eyes. 'If I go back, I have a chance to change that.' He smiled sadly, but the worn, prematurely aged face was beatific. 'I would like that.'

'Okay.' James smiled, glad that one, his agonising task was over, and two, selfishly, he wouldn't have to put up with the irritable man for much longer.

'Shouldn't you be warning me off your wife?' Snape asked, his lips thinned.

'Merlin, Snape, was that a joke?' asked James, truly shocked. 'Didn't know you had it in you.'

'Yes, well, I do have my moments,' he replied succinctly. 'Potter, did my death have its intended effect?'

The man's annoying habit of changing topic abruptly caused James' mind to do a U-turn in confusion. 'You mean did Harry get the message?' He nodded.

'And did it... help?'

'I don't know,' James admitted. 'But Dumbledore is sure of Harry's success, as I'm sure you know.'

Severus became quiet, thinking over all that had happened, and the huge decision he had just made. It was the right one, he was sure of it, but he could not keep himself from wishing he could know that Lily was happy, that she truly understood his actions. That he could see her one more time.

'Tell Lily... tell her I'm sorry. For everything.'

James smiled. 'She already knows.'

Nodding, Severus struggled to once again regain control of his emotions. 'What now?' he asked.

'You tell me.' Severus scowled. Really, just as he had started to not loathe the man, he gave infuriatingly vague answers. He was as bad as Dumbledore!

'I still don't like you.'

'I know.'

'This conversation, it doesn't change anything between us.'

'I guess I'll have to rely on my ignorant sixteen-year-old self for that.' He smiled, glad that they had finally reached an understanding of each other, even if they would never like each other. Maybe Lily wouldn't kill him when he returned after all.

'How do I get there?' James laughed and gave Severus the same cryptic answer that Dumbledore had given him.

It was then that Severus Snape found himself looking into the furious eyes of a sixteen-year-old Lily Evans.

**Let me know what you think!**

**~Tilly~**


	2. The New Old Chase

**Disclaimer: It's all Jo Rowling's. I just like to play with her toys every now and then. Cheers!**

**Chapter Two**

**The New Old Chase**

'Lily! Lily, no!' Severus yelled as she turned away after the pithy response, hurt, as Potter yelled something at Snape that made Lily round on him and start shouting.

Severus blinked, trying to orientate himself with his surroundings. He was by the lake, and had just called Lily by that unforgivable slur for which she had turned her back on him forever. He tried to focus, but the background seemed to blur and spin. A memory which was so clear to him was playing out before him, but he had to change it somehow before he ruined things forever with Lily.

'…make me SICK!' Lily's voice seemed to become louder as she shouted at Potter, and Severus realised she had already dismissed him. It was too late, he lamented, he had already done the damage. She turned on her heel and hurried toward the castle without a second glance at the teenage boys.

'Lily!' Severus shouted as Potter called out her surname simultaneously, and he started to jog after her before being hoisted upside down by his ankle as Potter smirked and played to the crowd, 'Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?'

Instinctively Severus summoned his wand wordlessly and ropes emerged from the tip, weaving and coiling around the four boys until they could only struggle uselessly due to a non-verbal incarcerous jinx. Unfortunately, this also resulted in Severus being unceremoniously dumped on his head as the boy's jinx wore off. Several students laughed, and Severus growled threateningly, and shook his head to clear it while watching the four boys to ensure they were indeed immobile. Black looked infuriated and tried to reposition his wand arm at the ropes to free them, and then at Severus, while Potter yelled 'Let us out, Snape!'.

Severus ignored the four struggling boys and turned his back on them, trying to figure out where Lily had gone. Thankful for her red hair, he spotted her heading for the castle not far away and sprinted in that direction, uncaring that the fight spectators were shouting for him to remove the boys from the bonds. Nothing else mattered that he reached Lily and she forgive him. Nothing.

She disappeared in the doorway and Severus pushed himself harder, and puffing as he reached the castle, he cursed himself for being unfit and contemplated where he would be able to find Lily. Taking the most direct route from the Entrance Hall towards Gryffindor Tower, Severus used his sixteen years worth of experience patrolling the floors of Hogwarts to navigate the confusing stairs, even jumping one set that was moving slowly onto the second floor. The portraits all stared after him as he raced by, Sir Cadogan asking excitedly 'Is there an adventure afoot, boy?' but Severus did not deign to answer. Wheezing, he realised that if Lily entered Gryffindor Tower, there was nothing to do but wait until she wanted to come out. By last time, he had been too late, or not persistent enough. He would not fail her this time.

'Lily, wait!,' he cried desperately as he made it onto the sixth floor and he saw the gleam of that wondrously shiny red hair. She didn't slow, so he kept running until he could reach out and touch her.

'Please talk to me,' he said softly.

Realising she wouldn't make the Gryffindor common room before he reached her, Lily stopped and said, as coldly as she could, 'what do you want, _Snape_?'

'Please, Lily,' he begged. 'Please don't throw away our friendship. I-'

'_Throw away_?' Lily repeated shrilly, turning towards him angrily and managing to sound somewhat incredulous despite her high pitched tone. Her face was blotchy, and she looked as if she'd been crying since she had left the lakeside. 'If anything, Severus, it was you who threw away our friendship. _You_ wanted to be a slimy little Death Eater? Well guess what, I don't care anymore!' she yelled, her voice becoming louder as another tear slid down her cheek. With that she turned away once again, but Severus grabbed her arm in desperation. She couldn't turn away from him. Not again.

'Let me GO!' Lily yelled, yanking her arm out of his reach.

'Lily, please…'

'No!' As she yelled the word, a furious burst of magic blasted Severus back into the stone wall, and her eyes widened. She slid down the wall, terrified and scared of the accidental magic that had just seemingly come out of her.

'Lily…' he started, barely wincing as his shoulder gave a groan as he got up from where he had fallen.

'Mr Snape!' called Minerva McGonagall from his left as she hurried down the corridor, closely followed by a tall black haired girl he vaguely recognised as one of the girls in Lily's group. Severus closed his eyes briefly in annoyance, as he heard Lily release a sigh of relief. 'That is quite enough!' she continued, her nostrils thinning in annoyance at the scene before her.

'Lily?' asked the girl who had rushed around the corner with Minerva. 'Are you alright?' She knelt beside Lily, who had lowered herself to the stone floor and was looking somewhat shell-shocked.

'Minerva, I-' Severus began, not taking his eyes off Lily, but not making a move towards her either in case of further accidental magic.

'Mr Snape!' she interrupted, striding over to him quickly. 'Be quiet. At all times you are to refer to your teachers as Professor- I shouldn't have to tell you that in your fifth year.' Severus berated himself for slipping as the Transfiguration teacher rapidly cast a diagnosis spell over him to ascertain whether any physical damage had been done as he was thrown backwards into the wall. She seemed satisfied that he was in no immediate danger physically and straightened, fixing him with a stare that he knew meant a student was in for a dire punishment in the near future. It had been so long since she had looked at him in such a way that he actually felt nervous, before reassuring himself that he himself had given students that same stare.

'Mr Snape, you will go to the hospital wing for Madam Pomfrey to look at that shoulder, then report straight to Professor Slughorn's office and explain to him what has happened today. I will be along shortly.' With that she turned and began towards Lily, already raising her wand to perform another diagnosis spell.

'But Ma'am,' he started, and she turned back towards him, raising an eyebrow.

'What didn't you understand about my instructions, Mr Snape?' she questioned quietly, a tone long used to intimidate students and prevent the average teenager from arguing further. Severus, however, was not the average teenager, nor had he the chance to modify his adult behaviour. Rather, he spoke before he had thought through what he'd say.

'Nothing, it's just that I don't…' He had been about to say that he didn't wish to report anywhere, let alone to his own office, before he realised that it now _wasn't_ his office, and McGonagall was his teacher rather than his colleague. He very wisely closed his mouth while she stared.

She blinked, clearly understanding the general idea of what Severus had been about to impart. Her lips thinned and her nostrils flared as they did famously, a universal sign to Hogwarts students that the argument was lost.

'You will go now, Mr Snape,' she said, her voice dangerously low.

'Yes Professor,' he agreed, somewhat annoyed but unable to do anythig to change his ircumstances at this time. He glanced over Minerva's shoulder at Lily, still sitting with her friend, who was watching Severus warily. He knew it was pointless to argue further with McGonagall. He had no power as a student. She turned towards Lily, and their conversation clearly over, he headed for what had been for so many years his office.

x

'Miss Evans,' McGonagall asked, after finding nothing wrong physically with her diagnosis spell, 'would you accompany me to my office, please?' Lily looked up at the tall Scottish woman, still clearly unsettled by the accidental magic she had unleashed moments before. The professor smiled kindly, and uncharacteristically, offered an arm to the redhead to accompany her.

'Professor-'

'You may accompany us also, Miss Robins.' She heaved a sigh of relief that Lily wouldn't be alone after McGonagall was through with her. She had figured that the friendship between Lily and Snape would explode sooner or later, but had thought that it would be in private rather than the public spectacle that it had become. Black and the other boys had still been struggling with their bonds when Olivia had raced after Lily, intent on preventing Snape from further harassing her friend. However, upon almost knocking Professor McGonagall down as she raced through the corridors, a stern reprimand, ten less points to Gryffindor, and the professor detecting something was amiss by using her teacher-mind-reading-sorcery, Olivia had failed to stop Snape _and _had probably gotten her friend in trouble for hexing Snape and using magic in the corridors by bringing McGonagall along. Well done, she congratulated herself gloomily, following after the pair to the Head of House's office on the first floor.

'Sit,' said McGonagall tersely, and with a flick of her wand, conjured three armchairs around a little coffee table along the side of her office as she herself sat down and looked at Lily. 'Tell me what happened.'

'Well, Snape-'

'I apologise, Miss Robins, but I'd like to hear it from Miss Evans herself. She is clearly upset and I'd like to understand why.' Olivia felt a little rebuffed, but nevertheless looked at Lily beside her, who, she realised, hadn't said a word since screaming at Snape. Maybe McGonagall had a point, she thought, suddenly scared that there was something acutely wrong with her friend. Maybe Snape had hexed her before they turned up, she thought angrily. To her relief, Lily answered.

'We'd just finished our Defence OWL, and some of the girls and me decided to go down to the lake. To relax,' she added as an afterthought. 'Severus was there too, and Potter and his friends started picking on him, like they usually do. They were calling him names and hexing him, four to one.' Olivia frowned, thinking that Snape probably deserved the humiliation after today and concerned that Lily was sticking up for him somewhat. 'I told them to stop, but they wouldn't, and Potter… h-he made me mad and…' Tears started leaking from the corners of her eyes again. 'S-Sev, he, I-I thought he was my friend!'

Olivia put an arm around her friend and explained to the professor, 'Snape called Lily a "mudblood", Ma'am.'

'I see,' McGonagall concluded with a grimace of distaste, conjuring two glasses and a pitcher of water. A plate of sweet biscuits from the kitchens followed, and picking one up, and offering it to Lily, who took it, McGonagall took her other hand. 'Lily,' she started with a reassuring smile and the rare use of a pupil's first name, 'you're an unquestionably talented witch who is a pleasure to teach. As you well know, I met your parents to help introduce you to Hogwarts, and they seem like wonderful people, who I'm sure are proud to have you as a daughter, just as you are to be part of their family.' Lily smiled weakly at that, Olivia thought, recalling the day she and her parents had met McGonagall and discovered the magical world. 'My father was a muggle,' the professor continued, 'and I wouldn't change that for anything. You get an understanding of the world that purebloods simply don't, although many don't try to understand the muggle world at all. Our logic and problem-solving skills are improved, I believe because we have to figure out to operate day-to-day without magic in non-magical communities in their home lives. Imagine, what would happen to a pureblood wizard if they lost the use of wand-magic? Don't be ashamed of your muggle heritage, Miss Evans. And don't let other bigots intimidate you with ugly words. A word only has power if you allow it to. You're better than that,' she concluded, still holding the redhead's hand in her own.

'That's a good point, Professor,' Olivia mused, wondering at what she would do if she did lose of damage her own wand and couldn't acquire another.

'Thank you, Miss Robins,' replied McGonagall succinctly. 'What happened after the incident at the lake?' Olivia again looked to Lily to answer, this time because she wasn't entirely sure what _had_ happened.

'Sev, he must've followed me from the lake, he kept calling for me to stop, and I did- I didn't make it to the common room. I didn't want to talk to him, but h-he- I was so mad! He grabbed my arm, and then I… I-I don't really know what happened after that. He was blasted against the wall, I guess by me. I didn't mean it, it was an accident,' she finished miserably.

'I saw that. Miss Robins, anything to add?'

'I didn't see anything that you didn't, Ma'am.'

'So I concluded from you trying to kill me in the corridor.' Olivia blushed. 'Anything Miss Evans forgot to mention occur at the lake?'

'Er, I don't think so Professor.'

'Very well. Miss Evans, I will ensure that Mr Snape is punished for his slur. You however, this once will not be punished for using magic in the halls. Mr Snape is unhurt, and I understand you were endeavouring to fulfil your prefect duties when Mr Snape upset you, which directly contributed to your burst of accidental magic. However,' she continued sternly, her piercing Lily's green eyes through her spectacles, 'you should look upon this a once-off occurrence, and not consider escaping future infractions based on this one experience. Understood?' Lily nodded solemnly, although the thought had not occurred to her at all. 'You must learn to control your emotions better,' McGonagall added, and Lily looked down at her feet. 'I understand you were upset, but Mr Snape could have been hurt. It must not happen again.'

'Yes Professor,' she replied meekly. She really was ashamed of the accidental burst. Even before Hogwarts she could control her magic somewhat, even if she didn't understand what she was doing. She remembered flying off the swing sets at the park, Petunia getting frustrated as she could never jump further than her little sister.

'Your emotions run close to the surface, Miss Evans. It's nothing to be ashamed of, just simply means that when you're feeling particularly emotional, you need to learn to rein it in rather than allow it to control you.' Lily nodded again, fearing that soon she would become one of the dashboard toys that bob their heads in her father's car. 'I suggest you go to dinner, it is half over. Even though I've filled you with biscuits.' McGonagall gave her a smile, which Lily returned and both girls stood to leave. 'Miss Robins, stay a moment? She will join you momentarily in the Hall,' she added at Lily's hesitation, and she left after the reassurance.

'Have I done something wrong?' Olivia asked tentatively.

'Have you?' asked McGonagall in return, always secretly amused by this question from students. Invariably, if they _ had _done something, she usually found out after that particular question.

'Er, I don't think so.' At McGonagall's raised eyebrow, she managed to deny the claim with more confidence. McGonagall let the question slide.

'I merely wanted to ask about the entirety of the circumstances at the lake. Miss Evans was quite upset,' she concluded, holding up a finger at the incredulous look forming on the Gryffindor's face. 'And justly so. But she didn't explain the circumstances that she intervened. I did not wish to upset her further by delving into it again.' Olivia felt a rush of affection for her teacher.

'I, well, honestly, I wasn't paying all that much attention at the start. I was happy to finish the exam,' she explained.

'What did you see?'

'Potter or Black, I don't know which one, they levicorpused Snape and were threatening to show, er, his underpants. Lily made them put him down, but they took their time about it, I guess. Snape reached his wand and cut Potter, and then they strung him up again.'

'That is when Mr Snape insulted Miss Evans?' Olivia nodded. 'And then?'

'Well, Lily ran off. The boys, Remus and Pettigrew had joined the other two by then, see, but Snape somehow did an incarcerous jinx on them and ran after Lily I guess. I did too.'

'He performed and incarcerous jinx on all four?'

'Yes Professor.'

'Where was his wand?'

'Er, I'm not sure. He must've kept hold of it during the second levicorpus.' Olivia frowned, trying to think back to the incident, but at the time, watching Snape hadn't been her highest of priorities.

'She mentioned that Mr Potter made her angry also.'

'Oh, that,' Olivia began, struggling to keep a straight face. 'That usually means that Potter asked her out, and since he was already picking on Snape…'

'I see,' McGonagall answered neutrally, not giving a hint of a smile away. 'Did the boys free themselves before you followed Miss Evans?'

'I don't think so, ma'am. But I was focused on Lily.'

'I understand.' McGonagall immediately went to the window and peered out towards the lake. 'Thank you for your assistance Miss Robins, you may go.'

x

Severus didn't bother going to the hospital wing, instead healing his shoulder himself with a muttered 'episkey'. He cursed himself for almost slipping with Minerva and revealing his secret at the first opportunity and vowed not to make any further mistakes with the other teachers. _McGonagall, _he berated silently, not Minerva. He was a fifth year, not a fellow educator.

Reaching the dungeons, he knocked politely on Slughorn's door and waited quietly for the 'enter' that came from within. Opening the heavyset door, he found Slughorn sitting at the desk, glancing up as Severus entered.

'Severus,' he greeted jovially, smiling at the talented potions student. 'What can I do for you?'

'Professor McGonagall sent me here, Sir.' It was irritating, having to continually watch what he said to those around him, but he'd had a lot of practice as a spy, although he'd never had quite so big a change as to alter his behaviour completely. Usually in reporting to the Dark Lord, he was still his adult self, terse and serious, albeit holding his Occlumency shields in place. Now he had to act as a sixteen-year-old, and although he unfortunately had a lot of experience with adolescents, it was a long time since he had been one himself. But for this opportunity to work, he must adapt to his new situation, ideally as quickly as he could. He couldn't afford to lose Lily again by blowing something so simple as acting like a delinquent teenager.

In front of him, Horace frowned, and Severus knew that he despised dealing out punishments to students, particularly those he favoured. Slughorn was the ultimate nice teacher, and in order to ameliorate his relationships with students for future favours, it was critical that those students liked him.

'And what could you possibly have done to anger the fair Professor McGonagall, Severus?'

And so Severus told him of the incidents at both the lake and Lily's accidental magic. McGonagall entered behind him halfway through.

'I realise that what I said to Lily is an atrocious thing to say, Sir. It will never happen again. I said it in anger, a way to lash out, Sir. If I could take it back, I would.'

'Be that as it may, Severus, we will not tolerate racism of any form at Hogwarts, whether from a frustrated outburst or not.' Severus bowed his head in understanding, and Slughorn continued. 'In a way, it's worse that it was an uncontrolled outburst. You have a Muggle father, I believe?'

'Yes,' replied Severus through gritted teeth, but Slughorn misunderstood his reticence at mention of his father.

'I've got to say, Severus, I'm worried where these thoughts will lead you in the future. Now I won't try to convince you to turn against your beliefs- whatever they may be, but at Hogwarts, prejudice towards Muggleborns will not be accepted. Understood?'

'Yes, Sir,' he acquiesced.

'Your punishment. I think a week's worth of detention, starting tonight scrubbing out cauldrons will aid to discourage similar behaviour from you in the future, am I right?'

Yes, Sir.'

Behind him, McGonagall cleared her throat. 'Horace?' she said. He looked up and she continued. 'Normally in the circumstances I wouldn't interfere with another Head of House's punishment, but in this circumstance, Mr Snape has his Transfiguration O.W.L. in the morning.'

'Of course,' Slughorn acquiesced quickly, with a stern look at Severus. 'I wouldn't want what is hopefully a slip up to sully his OWL marks, and your future too, Mr Snape. What do you suggest as an alternate, Professor?'

'Mr. Snape will serve detention every night for five days after the completion of his O.W.L.s and complete a three foot long essay on the topic of racism and the reason he is being punished for his actions today.' Severus nodded, thinking if anything, that the punishment was lenient. He had destroyed the only thing he had ever valued, and the professors thought this was an adequate punishment? It was laughable. 'Also, an additional detention for leaving the Gryffindor boys incapacitated by the lake.' She held up a hand as if expecting Severus to protest, but he had no such intentions. 'I realise they jinxed you first, Mr Snape, and rest assured that they will also be punished, but that is no excuse for leaving them unable to move. Did you realise Mr Pettigrew is unable to swim? What if he had fallen into the lake before someone was to free them?'

Severus wisely chose to interpret that as a rhetorical question and refrained from answering. However, he brightened internally at the mention of Potter and Black receiving some sort of punishment. That had certainly not happened last time, and he pondered what he had changed to allow the Gryffindors to be punished.

'The Gryffindors jinxed Severus first?' Slughorn asked McGonagall, frowning at Severus. 'Why didn't you mention that, Mr Snape?'

'It doesn't excuse what I said, Professor.'

'No, my boy, of course it doesn't, but it certainly makes it more understandable as to why you left the jinxed boys there. Why did you follow Miss Evans?'

'To apologise, Sir.'

'Very well. Tonight you may study for your last OWL. Your detentions start here tomorrow night at seven. You may go.'

'Thank you, Sir,' Severus replied, and immediately turned to leave. Horace blinked. Had the young man actually just _thanked him_ for giving detention?

Severus immediately departed in the direction of Gryffindor Tower once again, dinner forgotten. Behind him, the adults were confounded.

'Doesn't seem like the stereotypical case of racism,' Horace remarked. 'He went to apologise, after all.'

'I don't know, Horace,' she replied, looking out the office door where Severus had left and sighed deeply. 'I have some other boys to track down tonight, it seems.'

x

'I can't pretend any more. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine.'

'No- listen, I didn't mean-'

'To call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?'

'You're not, you're- wait!' he cried desperately as Lily gave him a look of disgust, and turned to the portrait of the Fat Lady. She flinched, clearly thinking he would grab her arm again, and Severus felt a swell of shame at how far she distrusted him. 'Please,' he implored. 'Let me explain.'

Lily nodded tiredly, crossing her arms.

'I meant that you are no different than any other witch or wizard, and that I shouldn't have called you, or anyone, that word. I got caught up in the incident today, embarrassed that they were teasing me, and I lashed out. I'm sorry.'

'You're sorry?' Lily repeated, her green eyes not wavering from the black. 'Well, guess what, Severus? Sorry doesn't cut it anymore.'

'I-'

'No, you let me explain,' she said coldly. 'I thought you were my friend. But he's gone. Someone I don't know replaced him a long time ago, and he thinks Dark Magic is cool and blood purity is important and that's not the friend I had.' Lily felt her throat getting tight, and knew she had to finish this soon. 'I don't know you anymore.'

He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole, whilst Severus felt just as stricken as when she had first turned her back on him over twenty years ago. Severus had wanted to say that his so-called friends did want to join the Dark Lord, but that he no longer did. He let himself slide down the wall, not noticing that the stone behind his back was cold and hard or hearing Nearly Headless Nick's friendly warning about being out of bed at that hour. Severus Snape sat there for half the night, determined to find a way to get Lily to forgive him, but unable to come up with any plan. He felt numb.

She turned her back to him and climbed through the portrait hole into the common room before he could see the tear sliding down her cheek. Seeing her cry once that day was enough. Olivia greeted her with a consoling hug and they started to make their way across the room to the staircase.

Potter chose at that moment to make his obnoxious presence known.

'Hey Evans, are you crying? Cos Mary said that Snivellus was outside the portrait hole, and I'd want to cry too if I saw that face.'

Lily turned, ready to make Potter shrivel back into a little boy with an acidic insult, and instead stepped back as Olivia leaped from her side over the sofa Potter was sitting on and spear-tackled him. Lily, Black and Pettigrew watched in shock as the pair rolled around on the floor. Lupin merely looked up in interest from his transfiguration textbook.

Olivia seemed to be gaining the upper hand, catching one of Potter's hands as he struggled and was pinned down by the black haired girl. Realising his plight was futile, Potter ceased to struggle and tried to get a clear sight of his friends.

'Little help Padfoot?' Potter asked from underneath Olivia. Black seemed to come to his senses upon hearing his friend's plea, but grinned back at him and lounged back on the sofa.

'Sorry Prongs, mate, but I kind of want to see what Robins does from that position.' Pettigrew giggled at the comment.

Both Olivia and Lily threw them a disgusted look, and Olivia looked to Lily and raised an eyebrow.

'What d'you wanna do?' she asked Lily hesitantly, only just realising the insanity of what she had done.

Lily deliberated. Potter definitely deserved some class A revenge after what he had pulled earlier, and then taunting her again tonight. Something particularly nasty, like making a beard like Dumbledore's grow pink or using this curse she had found to make him walk on his hands all the time.

She sighed.

'Let him go,' she said softly, holding out a hand for Olivia to help herself up.

'What?' asked Black and Olivia incredulously.

'Liv, if we start taunting him, then we'll be as bad as he is. Worse,' she grimaced, 'because we know how much of a bullying git we would be!'

'You're right,' Olivia agreed, and Potter visibly relaxed, sending a relieved and triumphant grin towards Black. 'Besides,' she added, 'our wands are upstairs.'

Potter made as if to get up, but Olivia gave him another shove, and he bounced back against the carpet, looking perplexed.

'Not so fast, Pretty Boy,' Olivia said, a smile creeping across her face.

'Livia?' questioned Lily, her hand still extended to the other girl. Olivia ignored it and turned back to Potter.

'Whilst my friend is the nicest and most decent person I know, I am not.' Potter made as if to interrupt her, but she shushed him and continued in a perfectly serious voice. 'She is above giving you back a dose of your own medicine. I am not as nice as she is, and intend to do every little prank I know you've pulled on others on you, starting with the little scene you caused today at the lake.'

'Liv, that's really not…'

'Ssh, Lils,' she insisted, and Lily took a step back to watch the scenario play out, unsure if she should intervene.

'You don't have your wand,' stated Potter nervously.

'Wanna try me, Potter?' she asked. At this, Black started to rise from the sofa to aid his friend, but Olivia pointed a finger at him, her eyes still on Potter. 'Make a move, Black, and I'll let McGonagall know exactly who was responsible for the Slytherin team's mysterious vomiting episode right before the Hufflepuff game last month.'

'How d'you know about that?' Black asked in disbelief, slowly lowering himself back down onto the sofa. Pettigrew's idiotic grin had finally faded, but Olivia declined to answer, instead smiling down at Potter evilly.

'Now, Potter, if you don't want to get pantsed, I suggest you apologise to Lily.'

'Apologise for what?' spluttered the boy in disbelief.

'For what?!' Lily repeated incredulously, feeling the urge to strangle the boy, or at least kick him in the head. Olivia made a calming motion with her hand, and turned back to Potter.

'Lily lost a friend today, and you just made her feel worse about it by teasing her. Apologise,' she instructed in that calm tone that made it seem that this situation was an everyday occurrence.

'I wasn't teasing her, I said Snape was ugly enough to make people cry! I-ah, okay, okay!' he yelled as Olivia moved to take a firm hold on his waistband. Lily struggled to hold a straight face at her friend's antics. 'Bloody hell,' he muttered.

'Well?' she insisted.

'I'm sorry,' Potter mumbled.

'You're sorry for what now?'

'For- for teasing Lily, and calling Snape ugly.'

'And what about at the lake?' questioned Olivia.

'For being what Lily said,' he muttered. Olivia raised an eyebrow, clearly not satisfied, and Potter appeared to become smaller. 'For being "a bullying toe-rag",' he clarified.

Lily again extended her hand, and this time Olivia took it. Lily smiled down at Potter.

'Thank you for the apology, Potter, I feel better,' she said sweetly, and she did. Turning towards the staircase to ascend to the dorms, she thought that it was strange that exacting revenge on Potter would make her pain at finally losing Severus any less. And she had lost him, she decided as the taller girl put an arm around her shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. Lily smiled sadly at Olivia, as they reached the fifth year dormitory and entered. She still had good friends, but Severus had chosen his way. And she had chosen hers.

x

'Hi,' Remus Lupin greeted, sitting down at the Gryffindor table for breakfast, opening his Transfiguration book beside the cornflakes he was pouring into the bowl.

''ey, Remrsh,' Lily managed around her own sausages and eggs. Lupin raised an eyebrow at her manners, or lack thereof, but didn't comment. She swallowed, and glancing at the open book, asked 'Surely you're not still cramming?' Remus shrugged guiltily. 'Better you than me, I don't think I can fit anything else in,' she said jokingly, tapping her temple. 'Transfiguration is my worst subject anyway.'

'Mine too, but you're not so bad,' he said quietly, smiling. 'Still,' he continued, sighing softly 'I don't think I'll ever be able to conjure objects as well as Snape did yesterday.'

'Snape?' Lily asked, feeling an odd lurch in her stomach.

'Yeah,' Lupin replied, and looking up from his book, he saw that she didn't have any idea what she was talking about, he continued. 'Oh, that's right, you left before that, sorry. Snape wordlessly conjured ropes with an incarcerous jinx, but it wound around all four of us instead of just the one. Sorry about what he said, by the way.'

Lily brushed off the apology, and quietly remarked, 'We haven't even learnt wordless spells yet.' She thought of his chosen future as a Death Eater and concluded that he'd probably be quite good at it. Lupin misunderstood her comment.

'I know, it's weird, right? I was surprised too. You really didn't know?' he asked.

'No,' she stated, truly surprised, not at Severus' Defence ability, but rather his actions afterward. She would have guessed that if Severus had been able to overcome all four of the Gryffindor boys that he would frankly be a tad more vindictive towards them rather than leaving them roped together, unhurt.

'Yeah, he took off straight after you, I think,' Remus added, and Lily felt a lurch off guilt as Olivia hurried grumpily over for breakfast, greeted them and began helping herself to toast.

'Yeah,' she lamented quietly, not really wanting to talk about Severus at all, let alone with one of the four boys who were present at the lake yesterday. She generally liked Remus, but thought that he let the other boys dictate what he did and didn't speak up enough as a prefect to stop their bullying of Severus. Not, she thought to herself adamantly, that she cared what happened to Snape anymore. But that didn't mean that Remus should slip up in his prefect duties where he was concerned, simply because he didn't like Severus. She frowned.

'Er, Remus?' she asked hesitantly.

x

Spending the majority of his time in the Slytherin dormitory over the next few days, Severus hadn't had his usual distraction of dealing with imbecile students or preparing the Potions curriculum for his classes, as repetitive as it was, year in and out. In fact, he had had nothing to do but contemplate the position he found himself in and over-analyse his sixteen year old self. This morning before breakfast, Avery had caught Severus gazing at himself in the mirror, before asking snidely, 'Who are you trying to impress?' In lieu of an answer, Severus had shrugged. While he found it an irritating and ill-mannered mannerism in others, he had found over the last two days that with teenagers, it truly did work well to discourage further conversation, and Avery had left the dorm with merely a slight sneer.

Severus had continued peering at himself, fascinated by the youthful appearance staring back at him. He knew that he was not the most handsome of men, but his features now depicted someone with very different experiences than the older man inside. Premature lines and the sallow sunken cheeks were replaced with fresh skin, still pale, but it did not yet have the sickly shade to it had succumbed to after years of severe stress. Fresh, was the word, Severus decided, that signified this outward change in appearance. He felt invigorated and unsullied in a way, he reflected, that he had not had since the first time he was a teenager.

On the other hand, his fresh start with Lily was not exactly going as he had planned. Potter had warned him somewhat fairly, he thought, about going back to his worst memory, but his claim that Lily would forgive him in the future for calling her _that word _certainly looked bleak at this moment in time. Besides, he had never seen her lose control of her magic like that and strike out at anyone. He cursed himself again for panicking and grabbing her arm. Undoubtedly he had frightened her, and she was in all likelihood even less inclined to forgive him now.

She had been surprisingly adept at avoiding him, even in classes that they both attended, such as Potions and Arithmancy. She'd probably make a good spy, although she wore her heart far too much on her sleeve for that. With her avoidance skills and determination, Lily'd be a good Slytherin. Of course, they only had a few classes together before the Express would take them home for the summer, and Severus thanked Merlin once again that they shared a hometown.

His Transfiguration practical had been stunningly easy, provided he had been a practicing wizard for many years now. The paper exam, however, was another story as he tried to recall obscure theorems and reasoning, that in all honesty, a practicing wizard doesn't think about all that much once their education is over. A person doesn't stop and think of why it would be easier to conjure a straight backed wooden chair over a armchair, he just _does it. _If by some way he does have an armchair with lumps he may vaguely remember, soft surfaces are harder to conjure consistently, but Severus would just simply vanish the first attempt and try a second.

All in all, he thought he had answered most questions on the paper adequately, and was actually nervous to get his results back. Of course, he knew what all of them but Transfiguration would be, and he was thankful he had had only one OWL subject remaining upon his return. It would have been hard to bluff his way through multiple subjects apart from Potions and Defence.

Of his detentions, he had forgotten just how tiring it was to clean out cauldrons by hand, and every night he cursed the dunderheads that used them every day and failed to properly clean them after finishing their potion. His hands were chapped and red raw, and although he was well able to heal them, he refused to. Slughorn had suggested he see Madam Pomfrey at the last detention upon seeing the state of his hands. It was a kind of penance for scaring Lily by grabbing her arm. It would never make up for what he'd done, but it was a start in the right direction. The right direction was the only direction he was taking from now on. A path towards Lily.

x

'Your teeth are gonna fall out if you keep eating those, you know,' Benjy said to Olivia, gesturing towards the acid pop she had just procured from the trolley and started sucking on, while Lily was oblivious with her head stuck in a particularly good book. She shrugged, not really caring as the compartment door opened and Sirius Black looked down at them.

'D'you mind if we hide in here a sec? Thanks,' he added, not waiting for an answer and pulling the three other Gryffindor boys in behind him quickly. They promptly moved to sit down on the seats with the others before Mary protested.

'This compartment is for six.'

'That's okay, we'll only be here a sec,' Potter assured, his hand going to his hair when he noticed Lily was in the compartment. 'Budge up, please?' he added, somewhat politely, at least for Potter. Around half the occupants acquiesced, and Lily sighed.

'What're you doing in here anyway?' Benjy asked. 'I thought you got a compartment near the front.'

'We did, but-' Black started.

'-we had to er, evacuate-'

'-you know, so we could-'

'-breathe. Accidental dungbomb explosion,' Potter finished. Lily found it disconcerting the way they seemed to talk over the top of each other when they were excited.

'So, in other words, you'll be with us for half the journey, until the stench goes away?' she asked drily.

'No, we-' Potter laughed.

'Wait a minute,' interrupted Olivia, 'you guys were actually stupid enough to set off a dungbomb off in your own compartment? I know you're mentally challenged, Black, but they _do _come with instructions.'

'No my dear,' he said gallantly, putting an arm around Olivia that she attempted to throw off. 'We know how to set a dungbomb. We do have experience,' he assured, and she rolled her eyes at the obvious innuendo he was trying to make. 'However, what we didn't anticipate was the sixth year Slytherins anticipating our little anticipatory send off, and so in anticipation the anticipatories then had the audacity to articulate-'

'Get on with it,' Olivia said.

'Right. They switched compartments at the last minute, leaving bewitched-'

'-or bewizard, er, -ed. Bewizarded-' interrupted Potter.

'-objects with their voices.'

'So you got stuck with the stinky compartment?' Mary asked, wrinkling her nose.

'Yep,' Remus sighed, opening a book of Lily's after a questioning look and sitting on the one of the sofa-type seats. It was quite squishy, with four people to a side, and Potter and Pettigrew were still standing.

'So, in other words, we are stuck with you then?' Clancy concluded.

'Er, well, we were hoping you'd be rather welcoming,' Potter added.

'Yeah, right,' snorted Olivia derisively.

'Fine,' he said. 'Pete, can you go check the smell? We left the window open,' he added to the compartment in general as Pettigrew left silently.

'Goody,' Lily snarked, not feeling in the mood to put up with their antics today. Black whipped his head around.

'And what exactly is your problem Evans?'

'What d'you think, Black?' she said airily, not looking up from the book.

'Got me, but I've got a bone to pick while we're in here-'

'-Which you shouldn't be-' Kimberly interrupted Sirius.

'-d'you mind telling us which of you girls sneaked on us to McGonagall?'

At that Lily did look up.

'I'm a prefect, Black, what did you expect?'

'How 'bout some house loyalty, huh, mate? We got three detentions for that, you know, and Moo- Remus and Pete got two as well.'

'Good,' she replied. Black glared. 'You were teasing Snape, you know,' Lily said coldly. 'You deserved everything you got.'

'Oh, give it a rest, Evans,' Black complained. 'Do we ever do anything right by you? Don't answer that,' he added, by Lily wasn't about to.

'She's right, we were teasing him,' Remus interrupted, and Black again whipped his head around to look at the other prefect incredulously.

'Since when d'you have a great love of Snivellus?' asked Potter derisively.

_'Severus,'_ Lily hissed out of habit, then kicked herself. He was Snape now.

'I don't James, but you've got to admit, we did give him a hard time.'

'No more than he deserves after calling Lily here that, um, word.'

'Evans,' Lily interjected. 'And the word is Mudblood, Potter. "A word only has power if you allow it to",' she quoted directly from Professor McGonagall.

'What the hell is wrong with you?' Sirius asked her. 'Can you only rudely interrupt other people's conversations by correcting them like a bloody know-it-all?'

'Hey, lay off, Black!' exclaimed Olivia, but Lily simply ignored him. She was sick and tired of putting up with these infantile boys, and she wasn't going to fight with them anymore. Time to try a new approach, and go with the flow, wherever it leads. But she wouldn't bully other students. She had to draw the line somewhere.

'You levicorpused Severus before he insulted Lily,' Remus reminded Potter, who ignored him and turned as Pettigrew opened the compartment door looking miserable. Potter raised an eyebrow.

'The smells gone.'

'Great, let's go,' Potter said, giving both Remus and Lily a look that clearly said your sticking up for Snape,_ really?_ He was already on his way out of the compartment, and Black had gotten up, but Pettigrew merely turned around with his mouth half open in a dumb expression. 'What?' snapped Potter, turning back around.

'Someone's taken our compartment,' he said gloomily.

'May wanna lead with that next time, Pete,' he said grumpily, striding back into the crowded compartment and taking a seat on the floor. 'Happy?' he asked Lily sarcastically.

'Ecstatic,' Lily remarked, promptly re-opening the book and trying to drown out the immature conversation going on around her. She was pleased to hear that Remus was actually sticking up for Snape though, and acknowledging that what they'd done was wrong. One small step for man, she thought, quoting her father's favourite phrase since the moon landing.

x

'Afternoon Severus,' greeted a woman from behind, and he turned and got a bit of a shock to see Mr and Mrs Evans smiling at him. When Lily hadn't forgiven him the last time, he had convinced himself that muggles like her family were truly unimportant. He still didn't know what had happened to these people that had, he remembered, actually been kind and considerate to Severus. This had not always been the easiest of things to do, and a sullen teenage boy coming from a lower-class, abusive home could not have been the easiest friend to accept for their younger daughter. Hindsight was a wonderful thing, he mused, for about the hundredth time this week.

'Hi,' he managed to get out finally, attempting to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. Mrs Evans kindly ignored this, and gestured towards the train with a smile of her own.

'Did you have a good year?' she asked kindly. Severus nodded, not meaning to be rude, but still processing the fact that Lily's parents were in fact alive. The Evanses didn't comment on his monosyllabic answer, seemingly expecting something along those lines from a teenage boy.

'Have you seen Lily?' Mr Evans asked, waving a hand at the scarlet engine, which was steaming impressively in the warm June air. 'We'll never find her in this throng.'

'Sorry, Mr Evans, I haven't,' he replied, words finally becoming forthcoming, as he looked around at his surroundings. There were Hogwarts students swarming in all directions as they exited the train carriages and found their families. Severus noticed Black walk past with his younger brother, and noted that Black didn't seem all that happy and smirked.

'I think we saw your mother before, Severus-' he whipped his head around to stare at Mrs Evans again, '-but she's probably trying to find you too, dear. Best stay with us until we find her,' she added kindly. Severus nodded, having thought that he'd have to make his own way to Spinner's End to see his family, but apparently his mother was already here to pick him up from the train. He tried to remember if she had picked him up after his fifth year the first time, but couldn't remember. He dismissed the thought anyhow, since he hadn't been home or owled his mother, how could he possibly have changed his her actions in this lifetime? He must've simply forgotten that she had picked him up.

'Thank you, ma'am,' he said quietly with a smile to Mrs Evans. This one didn't turn into more of a grimace.

'Dad!' yelled Lily as she snuck up behind him and put her arms around her father in a bear hug. 'Hey, mum,' she added, her voice somewhat smothered by the hug. The black-haired girl whose name Severus couldn't remember was with her again.

'Hullo, Snape,' the girl intoned, her voice neither warm nor friendly. Severus nodded in greeting.

'Hi Lily,' he said, hoping that he'd get at least a reply in return. She kissed her mother's cheek before her smile faded and she turned to him.

'Hi,' she said simply. She turned to her mother. 'I'm going to help Liv find her parents, but I'll be back, okay?'

'Sure,' Mrs Evans replied. 'Leave your trunk, sweetheart.' With that Lily disappeared as quickly as she had arrived. Severus sighed in frustration. He had been hoping to try to talk to her again.

'Severus?' asked a voice from behind him. He turned around quickly.

'Mum?' he managed, and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug.

**Let me know what you think! **

**Professor Radar, you're right, I posted two chapters of this story previously and then re-read it years later but decided to rework it, because I didn't like it and wanted to actually finish it. After it's been in my head for all these years :/**

**~Tilly~**


	3. The Funny Bunny Confusion

**Disclaimer: It's all Jo Rowling's. I just like to play with her toys every now and then. Cheers!**

**Chapter Three**

**The Funny Bunny Confusion**

'Mum?' he managed, and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. She stiffened, clearly not expecting this reaction from her usually serious and emotionally distant son, but soon relaxed into the embrace, stroking her son's hair back with her hand. The Evanses looked at each other askance, surprised at the display of affection from the usually withdrawn teenager. Just moments ago he had monosyllabic and sullen, but now his face was alive and happier than they had ever seen it. Mrs Evans raised an eyebrow at her husband, but he merely shrugged in reply, and started glancing around again for a sight of Lily on the platform.

Leaning back, Eileen smiled at Severus, a weary grin that somehow lit up her face and look years younger than she usually did.

'Let's go,' she said softly, and he nodded, as her smiled dropped, probably at the thought of returning home.

'Thank you, Mr and Mrs Evans,' he called, turning around realising he had not said goodbye, as his mother lead him out of the barrier and towards the car, which would take them to the sorry place they called home.

They bundled into the old rusted car and Eileen gave him a funny look when he put his seatbelt on. He realised not many people actually considered them compulsory when he was growing up, often forgoing installing them altogether until they were made mandatory. 'They're designed to keep us safe,' he said to his mother, somewhat defensively, but she merely raised an eyebrow at her teenage son. 'Do yours up too,' he implored, keeping his black eyes on hers, but she started the car and looked in the rearview mirror, ready to back out.

'How was Hogwarts?' she asked, and her face was animated. She relished these few quiet moments, he thought, that she could discuss the magical world with her son without her husband to bring down the two's memories.

'Good, mostly.'

'Still passing all your classes?' she asked.

'I think so,' he said, confident in his OWL results having already known most of them, except for perhaps the Transfiguration theory paper. 'I won't know until I get my OWLs,' Severus reminded her.

'Oh, of course. Why mostly good then?' Severus deliberated whether to confide in his mother, who seemed in a good mood. Sometimes when she was away from his father she seemed almost normal. He decided he didn't really have all that much to lose, and perhaps his mother would have a different female perspective on how to get Lily to forgive him.

'I uh, accidentally hurt someone I cared about.'

'Ooh, a heart breaker, eh, Sevvy?' She teased, and laughed when Severus blushed. It had been such a long time that he had been teased like that by anyone that he wasn't quite ready for it.

'It's not like that,' he insisted, his normally pale face still red.

'Lily Evans,' she acknowledged. Severus gaped at his mother, oblivious to the fact that she had been aware of his feelings for the fiery redhead.

'How did you-?'

'You only try to spend every waking minute with the girl you can when you're home.' At that, Severus felt a flash of guilt. It was true, Severus had tried to spend as little time at home as possible during the summer, leaving his mother exposed to his father's abuse. He truly was a coward, he thought.

'I guess so,' he acknowledged. 'Although I'm afraid I hurt her quite a bit, so she might not want to hang out much this summer, if at all.'

'Apologise, Sev, she'll come round,' his mother decided, still smiling from managing to embarrass her son, and nudged him. 'When did you grow up so quickly?' she asked. Severus stilled, internally cursing himself. He had to _be careful,_ even with his mother, not to reveal that he too, was thirty-eight, at least on the inside.

'I don't know,' he replied vaguely with a smile, hoping she wouldn't continue this vein of conversation as they pulled into Spinner's End and their run down house came into view.

'I hope your father's home,' she said lightly, causing Severus to darken and dread the confrontation he knew must eventually come.

X

Lily lay with her legs propped over the opposite arm of the chair, her red hair spread out behind her as she gazed at the television. Having been home from Hogwarts for just under a week now, she was missing the magical world she had become accustomed to and the friends she had made there. In order to console herself, she had gotten up early on a lazy Sunday to watch cartoons, a childhood habit she and her sister had shared for years before Lily started attending Hogwarts.

The doorbell rang, and as expected, Petunia flew past the TV set to the foyer, giggling giddily that her boyfriend was here for their impending lunch date. Lily ignored this rude interruption and returned her attention to the television.

Currently on the screen were her favourite Looney Tunes adversaries, the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote. Predictably, the anvil that the coyote had designed to fall on the bird had made an anvil shaped hole in the ground where Wile had just been, with solely his feet sticking out. Lily still laughed, because although she was incredibly bored and missed her friends and Hogwarts, an anvil falling on a prankster was just inconceivable enough to be funny. Wile got up, stars spinning around his head and eyes unfocused as Road Runner made his trademark "meep meep!" sound…

'Hi.'

Not unlike Road Runner, Severus Snape also possessed a voice unequal to any other. Uttering just one word in that soft way, Lily's eyes had widened in recognition and she struggled to leap out of the chair to face the boy.

'Freakazoid was at the door,' interjected Petunia sulkily, obviously disappointed that her new boyfriend Vernon was running late.

'Lily, I-' Lily cut him off before he had a chance.

'What? No, I don't want to talk to you, you-'

'Trouble in Freakville?' asked Petunia sagely.

'No!' replied both Lily and Severus together. Lily resumed glaring at him, pondering the quickest way to get him away from her and out of her life.

Having caught on that something was amiss, Petunia laughed scornfully at Snape.

'What's wrong, Snape? Finally figure out that she doesn't like you? Or is it that my freaky sister _does_ like you, and you don't know what to do?' Snape reddened considerably, opening his mouth to trade insults with Petunia, but Lily got there first.

'Tuney, just-!' Lily shouted, exasperated at her sister.

'Pet-toon-ee-ah!' hissed her sister, enunciating each syllable aggressively before turning and stalking up the stairs. Lily huffed in frustration before turning her attention back to Snape.

'You,' she started, physically pushing him back towards the entrance, 'need to,' he started resisting, opening his mouth in protest, 'stay away from me!' she finished loudly, overriding his objections.

'What is all this noise?' asked a voice from the staircase. Upon seeing Severus, Lily's mother smiled warmly.

'Oh, Severus, how nice to see you!'

Lily immediately dropped her hands from Snape's shoulders where she had been pushing him and put on a friendly façade for her mother.

'Hi Mum, we were just going to…'

'Watch some television,' Severus interjected smoothly, spying the box in the corner. 'It's nice to see you too, Mrs Evans,' he returned sincerely.

Despite the fact that Lily had been attempting to push Severus back out towards the front door, Mrs Evans seemed to miss any tension or awkwardness between the two, and she promptly continued down the stairs towards the teenagers.

'Would you like to stay for lunch, dear?'

'Oh, no, Mum, Severus has to-'

'To stay for lunch would be wonderful, Mrs Evans,' Severus again interrupted, whilst Lily shot him a glare.

'Mum,' Lily said, 'isn't Petunia's boyfriend coming over to meet us all? It might be a bit daunting introducing so many people at once.' Mrs Evans started shaking her head, as she had heard the same argument from Lily for three days concerning the upcoming lunch with Petunia ad this boy, Vernon, but Lily continued. 'I think you know, the more people that are there makes it more intimidating, don't you?' she wheedled, simultaneously hinting to Severus that he wasn't welcome and trying to prevent her own appearance at the meal.

'Nonsense,' Mrs Evans replied. 'I highly doubt that meeting a pair of teenagers is more daunting for the boy than meeting his girlfriends parents, Lily, but nice try.' Lily frowned at her mother. 'Weren't you going to watch telly?' she reminded.

'What?' Lily asked, confused. 'Oh, I- yeah, I guess we were,' she replied miserably. Her mother gave her a concerned glance and continued into the kitchen whilst the teenagers stood awkwardly apart from each other, staring.

Lily was the first to break eye contact, huffing and turning to head resignedly back into the sitting room. Severus followed cautiously, having won the first battle, but determined to win the war that was changing Lily's stubborn mind.

'Lily, I-' he started again.

_'It's nice to see you too Mrs Evans_,' she parroted, plonking herself back into the armchair and focusing on the television, which was now showing a cartoon of Tweety, Granny and Sylvester. 'Merlin, Snape.'

'Your mother has always been pleasant to me,' stated Severus. Lily snorted.

'That's never stopped you from being yourself before. No, you're just being nice because now I've opened my eyes and saw you for what you really are, a dark-arts-lover who wants nothing more than to be a Death Eater!' she whispered, glancing back towards the kitchen entrance for any sign of her mother.

'Lily, that's not what I-'

'Stop saying my name!' she hissed. 'I don't want to talk to you.'

Severus obliged, being quiet and taking a seat on the couch opposite Lily and silently appraised her. This meeting was not going any better than their last verbal encounter outside Gryffindor tower.

Lily, uncomfortable under Severus' prolonged stare, finally raised her gaze from the television and fixed her eyes on him and waited.

'I don't want to become a Death Eater,' he said quietly, 'and I will never call you or anyone else that word ever again.' He kept his eyes fixed on hers, and remained perfectly still whilst he waited patiently for an answer.

Lily sighed, thinking back to all the promises they had made together, and especially the ones he had broken. She heard her voice from two weeks ago confirming exactly what he was denying now.

_'You and your precious Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?'_

Lily felt the sinking feeling from that night when he didn't immediately reject the idea that he and his friends were planning to join You-Know-Who, and the final loss of her childhood friend to the evil path that he had chosen. The feelings from that night welled up in her again, and she thought of how her friend had made her feel better afterwards.

'You've made promises like that before, Snape,' she replied softly, looking into his eyes to see if she could tell if he was sincere or not. As always, Severus gave away none of what he was feeling.

'I know,' he acknowledged.

'So how would I know if you're actually going to keep them?' she asked.

'You don't,' Severus admitted sadly. 'To get you to trust me again, I will have to keep my promises.'

'I don't know… I just-' Again she sighed, appearing unsure of what to say. 'I don't want to talk about it anymore. Can we not talk about it anymore and just watch TV?'

'But we will talk about it?' Severus persisted, wanting to ensure that she would at least talk to him again after this.

Lily didn't reply, giving him an exasperated look and focusing her attention once again on the television set. He remained quiet, accepting that she was at least tolerating his presence at the moment, which was far better than the cold greeting he had received at King's Cross. He too turned his attention to the television set, where what appeared to be a black creature from outer space in a Roman headdress was attempting to capture an extraordinarily intelligent rabbit that somehow kept thwarting him. Severus let a few minutes pass in silence before asking, 'What is this program?'

'For Merlin's sake, Severus, you have a TV!' Lily burst out in frustration at the boy, only to realise how ridiculous she sounded after the outburst. She abruptly started laughing as she attempted to explain Marvin the Martian and Bugs Bunny to Severus as he became more confused.

The doorbell announced Petunia's forthcoming squealing, but Severus and Lily ignored the commotion at the door as Severus tentatively asked, 'Does this mean we're friends again?'

Lily considered the question, but decided not to answer. 'You are staying for lunch, right?' she quipped, a flicker of a smile on her face.

Severus was content with that. No, that wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no either, and Lily was at least comfortable enough to joke with him again, even a little sarcastically, for the first time in a long twenty-two years.

X

Lily settled comfortably back on the couch, a N.E.W.T. Charms textbook open on her lap.

Whilst she loved her parents, she couldn't help but feel a little isolated from the world she had come to know and love over the last five years, and found it particularly frustrating abstaining from performing magic. Especially when it prevented her from practicing interesting bits of magic that she wouldn't usually find time to practice over and over inside Hogwarts.

'What're you reading?' a voice interrupted her thoughts, and Lily looked up to find Petunia heading for the kitchen, obviously looking for their mother in her hangout. Neither of the girls had inherited their mother's love of cooking, and thus the tendency to hang out in the kitchen, that was for sure.

'Nothing you'd be interested in,' she snapped back, irritated at losing her train of thought.

'Fine,' Petunia replied coolly, turning away to stop Lily from seeing the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. She had noticed that something was bothering her younger sister, and had actually been inquiring to find out what was upsetting her. But if Lily didn't want to talk to her, that was just fine. She was proud that she managed to keep her voice steady as she continued, 'Just make sure you're not reading _that_ when Vernon gets here.' She put an emphasis on "that" to show Lily that it was distasteful, inserting as much scorn as she could into the single word. Lily looked up angrily.

'He's coming here again?' she complained, closing the book. She wouldn't be able to study or concentrate anyway, with that pig coming and leering at her superiorly like she was the most despicable person on the planet. Which Petunia probably told him I am, she thought. 'Didn't you have enough of snogging him yesterday?'

'No,' Petunia replied primly, looking faintly embarrassed, and she continued towards the kitchen.

'Is he at least going to be more polite to me this time?' Lily called after her. Petunia stopped and turned to face her sister.

'Whatever do you mean?' she asked in an innocent voice, insulted and quite willing to pick a fight especially now that Lily was being difficult. Lily's face darkened, and she stood from the couch.

'You know exactly what I mean.'

'No, I _don't,_' Petunia insisted. The doorbell rang.

'The way he looked and talked at Severus and me at lunch yesterday!'

'So suddenly you and that freak are friends again?' Petunia asked, her voice rising. 'You didn't even want him here yesterday!'

Mrs Evans came out of the kitchen at the second ring, wondering why neither of her daughters had answered the door, but they just stood arguing in the middle of the lounge. She sighed, remembering a time when her girls had once gotten along and headed for the front door, to find a large teenager holding a bunch of sad looking pink flowers in his hand.

'Come in, Vernon,' she murmured, taking the proffered flowers and immediately sitting them in a empty vase sitting in the hall on the table. 'Thank you for the flowers,' she said graciously, although after naming her two children after her particular favourite flowers, she wondered at how he could bring such a pathetic looking bunch to her house.

'You're welcome, ma'am,' he said importantly, following her inside, just as Lily started yelling.

'Severus has just as much of a right to be here as that- that pig!' Lily yelled from behind her, as her mother whipped her head around as Petunia pushed Lily back angrily, and she fell back onto the couch.

'Girls,' she interrupted warningly, but the girls either weren't listening or didn't hear her, she wasn't sure which. She turned to see a look of distaste on Vernon's face at being called a pig by Lily, but he didn't say anything, simply staring at the girls before him.

'Take that back!' Petunia said, standing over Lily menacingly.

'Why should I,' Lily answered coolly. 'It's the truth, isn't it?'

'_Girls!_' Petunia turned, her fists raised, which she lowered hastily when she saw her boyfriend.

'Vernon,' Petunia greeted in a fake girly voice that Lily had never heard her se before. 'Let's go.'

'Don't,' Lily interjected crossly, grabbing her book bag and shoving her Charms book inside. 'I don't want to be around such _small_-minded muggles as yourselves, anyway.'

'Fine!' Petunia screamed at her, ultimately insulted by the word muggle with tears now starting to trickle down her face. Vernon looked bewildered at being called a muggles, and quite a bit nervous at being present between the two feuding sisters. 'Just go, then!'

'Lily!' yelled her mother, truly hurt that Lily would use her sister's lack of magic against her. Lily turned on her mother savagely, no longer ready to listen as her anger boiled over.

'No!' she yelled. 'I'm sick of her telling me that I'm a "freak", I'm abnormal, just because I'm a-'

'LILY!' Petunia screamed, covering Lily's use of the word witch in front of Vernon. Lily screamed back in frustration, viciously pulling her long hair out from under the strap of her bag where it was caught.

'Girls!' yelled Mrs Evans a third time to no effect, and Lily turned, heading for the front door as her mother called after her.

X

Apart from spending a few hours with Lily yesterday, Severus had mostly stayed in his teenage bedroom, only coming downstairs to eat and use the bathroom. Apparently, this sullen behaviour was expected from their teenage son, because Eileen and Tobias had paid little attention to their son's conduct in the last four days. This situation had been a surprise, because Severus had never contemplated that in his teenage years he had been as bratty and insolent as his former students. There was so much he wanted to change this time around.

He needed to think about what he wanted out of this second chance. Yes, keeping his friendship with Lily had been his first priority, and in a way, it still was. Coming back, Severus was loathe to admit that he had not considered any other factor but a future with Lily in his decision.

At the time, he had been emotional, and uncharacteristically he had not considered any of the details except how he felt about the situation. It was a very Lily-like decision, he thought with a small smirk, to decide based purely on his emotions and worry about the consequences later, but now he needed to stop, think and consider everything in the wider complex.

First, he had died in the Shrieking Shack, murdered by the Dark Lord by the last horcrux, Nagini. He had given the Potter boy copies of his memories, and then he had met with a surprisingly helpful Potter Senior, who had directed him into his current situation, which did have its advantages and disadvantages. Best of all, obviously, was that Lily had at least tolerated his presence at a lunch with her family, which although a miserable affair, meant that he at least had hope of becoming friends with her again.

On the downside, he was an adult in a teenager's body, and that came with certain drawbacks. Certainly, he was a very independent man, but found himself under his father's controlling roof, with no money and an inability to perform magic unless he was under his father's roof because of the Trace. Thankful that he knew the ministry rarely followed up magic in wizarding families, he had used this to his advantage where he could, but being used to utilising magic so much every day, it was a strain on his patience. His father also hated him using magic where he could see, another reason for Severus to keep it under wraps.

Tobias was a gambler. Every pay check was spent down at the local pub, usually losing on the ponies. On the occasions when he had a win, Tobias would go on a drinking binge. Severus as a teenager had always looked forward to the weekend during the summer, because it meant less interaction with his father, but come Monday (or perhaps Wednesday if he had a particularly good win), that relief would turn to bitterness and fear. For the first few days, Severus and his mother felt relief at the lack of Tobias' presence around the house when he was out carousing, drinking and Merlin knows what else. Then the dread would set deep in the teenage Severus' stomach, for when his father would get home and take out his hangover on his battered wife and scared child.

It was in an inebriated state that Severus found his father in when he ventured down the stairs midafternoon, five days after he had arrived in Spinner's End. Tobias had obviously won big the previous Saturday, because he was out on the couch, another three bottles of whiskey half drank sitting on the floor beside him. His mum was in the kitchen cleaning up the mess Tobias had made stumbling in through the kitchen this morning.

'Hi,' he ventured quietly to her, not wanting to wake the man so he would have to deal with him.

'Lunch?' she asked, pointing towards the stove, where some sort of stew was sitting, having been cooked in between the cleaning.

'Thank you,' Severus said, and he took a bowl from the

'Your father's home,' Eileen commented.

'So I saw,' Severus said distastefully, sitting down at the worn kitchen table

'Severus…' warned his mother. He ignored the warning.

'You need to leave him, Mum,' Severus forced through clenched teeth.

'Don't you love your father, Severus?' she questioned sadly, looking at him as if he were the monster instead of the man in the room opposite, passed out on the couch. He reflected on the difference between the woman who had met him off the Hogwart's Express and the woman who stood before him now. His mother was a smart, educated woman who away from Tobias, was likeable and playful at times, even if a little reserved and shy with strangers. Around Tobias, however, she was nervous and fidgety, looking towards the lounge every few seconds, barely cracking a smile and never dared be teasing, even with her own son, lest Tobias overhear.

'How can I love a person who treats someone like that?' he said back, unceremoniously slurping another spoonful of stew.

'He doesn't mean it,' Eileen immediately protested, coming to her husband's defence. 'I make him angry.'

'At least once a week, after he starts drinking?' Severus replied bluntly, but he never heard her reply, as Tobias had woken and had yelled for Eileen, who immediately left to tend to him without looking back. Severus got up from the table, leaving his meal and followed her, knowing that Tobias would likely be violent and wishing to put a stop to any more abuse towards his mother.

Eileen cringed as Tobias looked at Severus and immediately raised his hand to point at his son.

'Why is he wearing those clothes, Eileen?' His voice was not slurred anymore, but soft and dangerous, much like Severus' when he had intimidated Gryffindor students in his class. Severus recognised the change and positioned himself in a stance to protect his mother from Tobias.

'I am more comfortable in robes, father,' Severus replied evenly, as Eileen tried to stand in front of Severus. He pulled her back behind him and gave her a look that said to stay there, but she ignored it in an attempt to protect Severus.

'Did I ask you a question, boy?' his father sneered, taking a step toward Severus and Eileen. Severus had his hand in his pocket, ready to draw his wand if need be.

'Toby, leave him alone,' his mother said softly behind him. This time, she didn't cringe as Tobias took another step towards them. She was resigned to what was coming, but Severus refused to budge.

Severus pulled out his wand, pointing it directly at the centre of Tobias' chest. 'Get away from her,' he spat. Tobias laughed drunkenly, unaware that this time, his son was serious in the threat. He did not fear his father as he had the last time he was a teenager. Severus had dealt with far worse. He had killed people.

'Get back, Tobias,' he said, and his mother got from behind him and tried to insert herself roughly between Tobias and Severus, but Severus pulled her back to his side with his other arm.

'Go on, do it then, boy.' When Severus didn't respond, he whispered, 'coward'. He knew full well Severus would hear him.

'Severus, no!' his mother insisted, identifying the look in Severus' eyes. His hands shook with anger, and Severus stood there with his wand aimed to kill, his eyes expertly trained on his father.

His father finally seemed to recognise the danger his son was presenting and let go of Eileen's arm. Instead of shrinking back from the danger, Tobias curled his lip and leered at his son.

'You pull that shit on me boy, and you'll get kicked out of that freak school you go to,' he threatened.

Severus advanced, wand now pointed at his father's throat. He tried calming himself by putting up his Occlumency shields, mentally forcing himself to let go of his emotions…

'Coward,' his father insulted again, and the Occlumency shields broke before he had completed them. A wave of hate for his father rushed through him, and how he _hated_ that word. Tobias was the coward, for beating his mother, for thinking love was an emotion ruled by fear, and mostly, for bullying Severus into submission all his life. All bullies were cowards.

Severus hated being called a coward, because that was the primary insult that his father used against him. Every summer during his youth, he had vowed never to allow that man hit his mother, to find a way out of the situation the family found itself in, but come every September the First, it was the same situation, and Severus would find himself travelling on the train back, feeling ashamed, and more than a little relieved to be away from his father.

'You won't do it,' his father mocked, and his lips formed the word once more '_Coward._' Severus saw rather than heard it.

'I don't care anymore,' Severus said simply, his wand arm never wavering. Eileen, sensing the threat Severus posed was now genuine, screamed again and lunged for the wand from behind Severus.

'Sectumse-' Severus was cut off as a punch from his father landed on his right temple, but what he had managed to say was effective as the spell gouged a line in the wall as his mother redirected his wand arm with the lunge and snatched the wand out of his hand.

Tobias continued his assault, barely stopping, but Severus managed to get a few back.

'Don't hurt…him!' Eileen screamed, as punch after punch landed on Severus, as he attempted to shield his face, but some of the lunges got through. His mother, from what he saw, was trying to pull Tobias back ineffectively, but she was swatted away as if she were a fly. She had dropped his wand onto the ground in her desperation to pull back Tobias.

Severus uncovered his face and quickly jabbed his fist in the direction of his father's throat. He didn't miss, and Tobias collapsed, clutching at his windpipe and struggling to breathe. He may be the bigger and physically more imposing man, but Severus had survived two wizarding wars, and being without a wand was not a situation he had wanted to be vulnerable in. He grabbed his wand off the floor and headed for the front door, not looking back as he jogged into the warm summer night.

X

'Sev?' a voice asked behind him, and Severus realised Lily was sitting at the tree opposite to the one he had been walking to. 'What're you doing- you're bleeding!' she exclaimed in a high pitched voice, standing up quickly and putting a hand to the cut under his right eye.

Severus shied back, shocked at seeing her there. He hadn't seen her in this spot since she had denounced him all those years ago. It was sacred to him, a spot that she and he solely shared between them, and he was surprised to see that she also still came here. He briefly wondered what she was doing here, considering it was nearing dusk, and closer to his shady neighbourhood than her respectable one.

'I'm fine,' he said, but his hand reached up to cover hers that was gently probing around his eye and temple to check if there was serious damage.

'You're not fine,' she insisted hotly. 'What happened?' Severus gulped, a well of shame pooling up inside of him.

'Lily, I almost-' he faltered, stopping himself from shattering the innocence that was Lily. He couldn't admit the truth of what had almost happened earlier to her, so he substituted a half-truth. 'I almost used magic on my father.'

'Severus!' Lily exploded, looking horrified. 'You'll be expelled for sure!'

Severus took a step back, not expecting such a harsh reaction from what he thought, was a relative minor offence in his mind. Of course, being muggleborn, Lily couldn't be expected to get away with any magic in her household, but Severus' mother was a witch, which ensured lest he actually performed magic on a muggle, or in plain view of a muggle excluding immediate family. In barely preventing himself from cursing his father, he had averted further action from the ministry of magic. He quietly explained this to Lily.

'That's so unfair,' she whined, and Severus winced at her tone of voice. He was developing a thumping headache, and couldn't heal it himself in the obviously muggle neighbourhood. 'Sorry,' she muttered, a lot softer than before. 'I can't believe non-muggleborns can get away with that, though! I wanted to practice some charms I read about earlier, but obviously I can't,' she lamented as she babbled. 'What happened with your dad?'

'Nothing new.'

Severus saw a flicker of pity in Lily's eyes. He tried to smile reassuringly at her, but it came out more of a pained grimace. Severus had not had much to smile about in the last twenty years.

'I want to show you something,' he said to Lily, getting up and holding out his hand. She ignored it, helping herself up. Severus sighed. In his other life before the incident by the lake, Lily had held his hand any number of times.

In his past life, Severus had felt shame whenever the subject of his home life came up, and had avoided the subject with Lily whenever possible. In hindsight, Lily had not fully understood why Severus had hated Muggles as a teenager. Growing up in a loving home with two supportive parents, she could not fathom the abuse he and his mother went through on a daily basis. Having the time to think about it over the past week since coming back to Spinners End, Severus had realised that the more he tried to hide things in the past, the more alienated Lily had become from him. If he was to succeed at winning Lily's trust again, he'd have to keep no secrets from her.

'Where are we going?' she asked, watching where she walked as they turned down a rough cobblestone laneway.

'My house,' Severus replied, watching for her reaction. Lily's eyes widened, but she didn't say anything. In the time they had known each other, Severus avoided mention of his home life, and actively worked at keeping Lily as far as possible from his father.

They walked silently through the streets, twilight setting in as the surroundings became increasingly run down and he started talking.

'All I ever wanted was to protect my mother and myself from Tobias,' he admitted, looking into Lily's eyes. 'My hatred of Muggles, it comes from him. I assumed that all Muggles were like him. I know that they aren't,' he hastened to add, seeing Lily open her mouth angrily. 'Especially your parents. Earlier tonight, I didn't just almost use magic on my father, it was a dark curse.' Lily slowed, staring at him, and Severus was terrified. He had used dark magic, her fear for him, and the reason she had turned away from him in the first place. In time, perhaps Lily would have forgiven him for the slur he had slung at her, but she never would have forgiven the dark magic he had used and participated in in his former life.

'What curse?' she asked stiffly.

'Sectumsempra.' Upon seeing that Lily had no idea what that was, he added, 'a sort of cursed slashing. The wounds don't heal easily.' Lily gasped, horrified, and stopped walking altogether. Her mouth opened and closed, clearly struggling with forming the correct words.

'How could you, Severus?' she hissed, looking around to ensure there were no muggles nearby. They were about halfway to his house, and the streets were slightly more populated.

'Please don't hate me,' he begged, also glancing around. 'I'm trying to be honest, and I don't want to hide things from you.'

'Maybe you should,' Lily muttered carelessly, and Severus flinched. 'Sorry,' she said upon seeing his expression. 'I'm a little bitchy today.' Severus tried to deny this, but she ignored him, sitting down and pulling him onto the long-grassed nature strip beside her. 'You said yesterday that you wanted to earn my trust, and I guess you're being honest, so that's a start. Not that using dark curses is a good thing, obviously. Although your father is… not very nice. But that's not an excuse for using dark magic, and you told me you didn't want to go dark… and I'm rambling,' she concluded after the argument with herself, looking at him. 'You have to stop me when I do that, you know.' He opened his mouth, but she didn't give him a chance to reply. 'Tell me what happened,' she ordered, looking into his eyes. Severus looked down.

'Father was passed out, and Mum and I were talking. I was in my robes,' he gestured towards his clothes, which, he realised, he should have changed before taking off into the muggle neighbourhood. 'He, you know, doesn't really like the magical side of things-' Lily nodded, she knew that.

'Kind of like Petunia,' she realised.

'-and he picked a fight.' Lily looked at him, confused.

'If you knew he was picking a fight, then why did you…' Comprehension dawned on her face as she realised why. 'Your mother was there.' He nodded.

'Then he called me a coward, and I just… snapped.'

'That I understand.'

Severus looked up in surprise.

'Did you really forget that I blasted you across the hall a few weeks ago,' she asked incredulously. 'Because I certainly haven't.'

'I deserved it,' Severus muttered, looking down. He had _caused_ that, not her.

'No,' she said seriously, making sure he looked into her eyes to see that she was earnest. 'No one deserves to have magic tear at their bodies. I should have found a way to tell you that I couldn't handle talking to you without blasting you. I lost my temper.'

'But at least yours was accidental magic,' he argued, trying to assure her that she hadn't done anything wrong, and least in his eyes. 'Mine was… purposeful.' He looked at Lily to see her reaction, but none really came from her.

'You have made a mess of things, you know,' she stated, a little unnecessarily. That was pretty clear, but Severus clamped down his tendency to snap sarcastically at obvious comments.

'I know,' he replied instead, simply and miserably.

'You didn't hit him though, right?' she asked, her voice small.

'Not with the curse,' he said, leaving the implication that he had physically hit his father, but Lily didn't seem too upset by that allegation. She got up and offered him a hand, much like he had her earlier that evening.

'Let's go,' she said, indicating the direction of his house.

'Really?' he asked, surprised she wasn't running for shelter, screaming from the crazy lunatic, but taking her proffered hand nonetheless. It was small and delicate in his long wiry fingers, but had a surprising strength behind as she helped heave him up.

'Yup.'

'What about the dark curse?' Severus questioned.

'Well,' Lily replied, frowning. 'I'm not condoning what you did, but I understand you were angry. Are you going to use it again on somebody else?'

'Never,' Severus vowed seriously, and realised that without him to spread the knowledge, Sectumsempra would remain known only to him, and now Lily. He had invented it during his sixth year, foolishly writing it in his potions book for any like-minded fool to read. That was a mistake he would not be making again.

'Then I don't see the problem,' Lily admitted. 'Are you serious about not wanting to know more Dark Magic?' she asked, looking at Severus.

'Dead serious.' She smiled.

'Looks like we both need to work on our tempers though,' Lily said, giving his hand a squeeze, which she had never let go of as they reached Severus' house. They could hear unintelligible screaming from within.

'Your family are loving and caring, and I wish I'd grown up with parents like yours,' he admitted, his eyes glued to the house where his mother was probably being subjected to spousal abuse at that second.

Lily took Severus' hand in both of her own and directed her gaze back toward his family home. Severus was grateful. He had never found it easy to discuss difficult matters with anyone, even his Lily. With this one thing, Lily showed she understood him, and Severus felt an overpowering wave of love at the silence she granted him as they listened to the sobbing that was clearly coming from his mother.

**Let me know what you think!**

**~Matilda~**


	4. The Messily Hidden Mirror

**Disclaimer: It's all Jo Rowling's. I just like to play with her toys every now and then. Cheers!**

**Chapter Four**

**The Messily Hidden Mirror**

'So,' Severus started, trying to sound as if he wasn't all that fussed with the answer he would get back from Lily. 'That Dursley fellow wasn't all that nice at lunch yesterday.'

'No, he's wasn't,' Lily replied, hesitant to confide her reasons she had been procrastinating in the park so late in the day. In truth, she wasn't at all sure why Petunia liked Vernon either. He was rude, pompous, and certainly didn't appeal aesthetically, at least to Lily. Petunia must see something in him that she couldn't, she thought, but it certainly doesn't make up for how he had treated Lily and Severus at lunch. She sighed. 'He's Petunia's boyfriend,' she said to Severus. 'I guess we'll have to put up with him until she decides otherwise.'

If she decides otherwise, Severus thought darkly, feeling oddly elated at how casually Lily had included Severus in the "we". It didn't mean anything, he reminded himself. She was just tolerating him at the minute, nothing further. And certainly she had not forgiven him.

'I guess so,' Severus agreed. He was walking her back to her house after showing her his home life from a distance. Lily had remained quiet, probably thinking over what she had seen, and Severus didn't want to push her into further conversation on the subject. Last time he had done that, he had just made things a lot worse, with Lily blasting him across a hallway.

'Severus,' Lily started hesitantly. He looked at her, and her eyes blew him away. They were so full of pure feeling, Severus was sure they couldn't be real. Lily would never be one to master Occlumency with eyes like that.

'Yes?' he asked in a staggering breath, urging her to continue. It took a while to get used to those eyes again, so expressive and open, compared to his own impassive features drilled into him during the war.

'Shouldn't we try to, you know, get your mum out of there?' she asked, and he realised the emotion in her eyes was concern. He felt a rush of love that she cared for Eileen, but sadly, at that point, he knew there was nothing they could do.

'No,' he replied, taking her hand again. She didn't protest. 'He's likely done with her tonight,' he muttered, his face darkening. Lily didn't quite understand, and Severus tried to explain. 'If we go back in, and I'm _not_ taking you there, he'd only get angry and start on Mum again when she tries to stop it.'

'But surely she'll want to get out of there, somewhere safe,' she mused, but Severus shook his head.

'My mother… she defends him.' Lily looked shocked. Only a person who had lived through family abuse could understand that sometimes, the victim would do anything to cover up the bruises, pretending that the warm, friendly side was the only side to her husband. She blamed herself for 'She loves him,' he said simply, sadness present in his voice.

'But how can she love someone who hurts her so much- who hurts you, too?' she asked, flabbergasted, as they reached the porch of her house. It was a contrast to his torn down house, the flowerbeds lovingly tended to, and the grass trimmed precisely.

He shrugged. Severus really found it a useful response, this twitch of the shoulders, that until two weeks ago, he had despised. It was a very ambiguous way of answering when you simply didn't have a proper answer, and people tended not to push for an answer when you shrugged, either. And, Severus thought, it was a very teenage gesture to partake in.

'Lily Frances Evans!' a voice called angrily as the front door opened beside them, as Severus realised her parents must have been waiting for her to get home. Lily winced and looked at her mother, standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, looking at her daughter, shaking in anger and worry. At this moment, Lily thought it was more anger though. 'You've had us worried sick! Do you realise what time it is?'

'I'm sorry, Mum, I-'

'Inside, _now_,' Margaret Evans said threateningly, and Lily had the decency to look contrite. Only then did Mrs Evans look at Severus and gasped at the bruises on his face, darkening already. 'Severus, are you alright?' she exclaimed, pulling him inside by the arm and simultaneously looking over her daughter to assure herself that Lily was not similarly afflicted.

'I'm fine,' he assured the older woman, not realising how bad he must have looked as she led him to the couch and forced him to sit down.

'You are _not _"fine",' Lily retorted. Severus shot her a glare, and thankfully she remained silent. Honestly, he had had far worse during the war, but they wouldn't have known that. The war had barely begun this time around, and Severus was uncertain whether Lily had even told her parents of the current dangers present in the wizarding world, but he doubted it. She did not like to cause pain and worry. It was all he ever seemed to do.

'What happened?' she questioned as her husband came into the room, first looking furious with Lily, and then noticing Severus and the state he was in. 'Wet washcloth,' she instructed her husband before Severus could answer, and he supposed that she was where Lily got the tendency to interrupt after asking questions. He remained silent, his pride preventing him from revealing his home life. Of course, it was well known around the area that Tobias Snape was a mean drunk, but that didn't mean that Severus would voluntarily admit his home life was a problem. Certain things were private, especially in the wizarding world.

'His father,' Lily supplied, with a sharp look to Severus at his reticence, as her father came in with several washcloths soaked in warm water and a box of plasters. Mrs Evans immediately pressed on to his cheek, where the cut under his eye was congealing, and he clenched his hands to prevent a sharp intake of breath.

'I'm okay, really,' he insisted, as Mrs Evans gave him a look of disdain. 'I can get it healed when I get home,' he said, forgoing to mention that he would probably heal it himself. She still fussed over him anyway, and Severus stopped paying attention as Lily and her mother discussed whether the cut needed stitches. He noticed Petunia was sitting on the stairs, looking morosely down at the scene, and nodded to her politely. She seemed too surprised by the gesture from Severus to do anything but stare in return.

'Stitches would probably make things worse, Mum,' Lily explained patiently. They didn't know how magical healing worked, after all. 'It'll make it harder for Eileen to sort of, make it knit back together if we go to the hospital and he gets stitches. I don't think it's that deep anyhow.'

'She's right, Mrs Evans,' he interjected smoothly, in a calm voice. It was unnerving to the adults that the boy was treating these injuries so lightly, as if they were a common occurrence, which in the future of course they had been. 'I'll be okay once I get home.'

'Home?' asked Mr Evans derisively, looking at Severus in shock. 'Surely you don't want to go back there tonight? Stay here, with us,' he offered, and Severus looked to Lily to see her reaction. Her eyes widened, but she said nothing. Severus shifted uncomfortably.

'That's really nice of you, Sir,' he started, and Mr Evans could already tell that the boy was getting ready to decline. 'But I really do need to be at home.'

Mrs Evans apparently finished cleaning the laceration on his face, because she stood back with a satisfied smirk while Lily grabbed the box of plasters and came forward.

'You'll probably have a scar,' Mrs Evans said quietly, and again Severus shrugged, not wanting to contradict her. It was a minor cut, and once healed with magic, ordinary cuts usually remained pink only for a few days before the remnants of the injury faded. Lily fumbled with the plaster wrapper, finally just ripping it open and fixing Severus with a look.

'Stay still,' she commanded. He nodded.

She then reached up and put her hand to his cheek, and he almost chuckled at the way she was holding her mouth, as if holding it a certain way would help to complete the process correctly. Her fingers were warm as they brushed across his skin, placing the plaster on his cheek over the gash and sitting back as if to critique her work. Clearly not satisfied, the second wrapper was more cooperative than the first and she placed a second plaster in the opposite direction to the first. Again, she held her tongue out to the right.

'There,' she said in triumph in a singsong voice, smiling as if the plaster had fixed what was underneath. 'All better.' This was clearly something she had learned from her mother, who was nodding alongside her. Muggle children didn't have advantage of their parents instantly healing minor cuts and abrasions, but had to wait for them to heal on their own. He supposed the cheery disposition and fake solution covered for this as a way to reassure young children.

'Thank you,' he said quietly to her, and then looked at her parents and thanked them too. It was not their responsibility to aid Severus, but they had done it anyway, and for that he was grateful. How had he ever considered these kind people as inferior to wizards?

'Are you sure about going home?' Mr Evans asked again, looking a little uneasy at the thought. 'Perhaps you ought to think about staying here a while at least.'

'Thank you,' Severus replied again, neither giving a yes or no answer, and he hoped the man wouldn't pursue the issue. He didn't want to make Lily feel uncomfortable more than he already had tonight, and he could deal with his father, as long as he didn't lose his temper again. He needed a new tact to deal with the issue of his home life.

'D'you mind if I talk to Severus a bit?' Lily asked her parents, and Severus noticed Petunia's eyes flashing, clearly angry at something about that sentence. He was surprised she hadn't come down. While he didn't like the girl, he figured that if he deserved a second chance with Lily, then her sister certainly ought to have the same opportunity. After all, he hadn't considered anyone in the Evans family apart from Lily worth talking to, and he hadn't exactly been kind to Petunia in the past. Obviously, she had not been kind to him either, but as a mature adult, Severus figured he should at least give the haughty girl a chance.

Lily's parents hesitated, but Severus was unsure if it was because Lily was in trouble for something related to the look Petunia was giving her from the shadows, or that they didn't want their youngest daughter spending more time with him. If it was the latter, Severus couldn't truly blame them, after turning up bloody and bruised on their doorstep, even if he had only been walking Lily home.

'Ten minutes,' Paul Evans grudgingly allowed, and Lily smiled at him in gratitude. She got up from the couch and started heading for the front door again. Severus got up to follow her, but he didn't miss the look of warning he received from Mr Evans as he passed. It clearly intimated remonstrations if he hurt his daughter in any way. He nodded in understanding before following Lily and closing the front door softly behind him.

'Are you sure about going home?' she asked, and he merely nodded. She sighed.

'What?' he asked, clearly understanding that he was missing something.

'Might delay how much trouble I'm about to get into,' Lily muttered darkly, glancing towards the door worriedly.

Severus couldn't help it. He laughed, a great belly laugh that probably hadn't been heard coming from Severus Snape in, well, possibly never. It was so loud that Lily looked at him as if he had gone mad, and concluded that he probably had.

'You-you asked me to stay, s-so you could postpone getting into trouble with your folks,' he wheezed, still struggling for breath.

Lily frowned darkly at him.

'Well, not just that,' she huffed irritably. 'I also thought you probably shouldn't go back home tonight.'

'I'm sorry,' he replied weakly, still smiling. 'I didn't mean that you were being unfeeling, just that it's funny that you're considering getting me to stay over to help get you out of trouble.'

'Oh,' she said simply, and smiled. 'You've got to take the advantage when you can with the parents. Especially when Petunia's involved,' she muttered.

'How very Slytherin of you,' he remarked with a smirk. She rolled her eyes. Rather than finding it irritating, as he did when Potter did it, it made him smile more.

'And it was very Gryffindor of you to take on your dad,' she replied, and his smile faded. 'So, d'you wanna stay? It really is okay with me if you do.' Severus sighed.

'I appreciate the offer, Lily, I really do, but it won't change the result when I do go home.' She grimaced, thinking about the walloping Severus was sure to get when he got home.

'Don't go, then.'

'Come on, be serious.' He smiled at her, letting her know that he would be okay, something she clearly needed to hear, which heartened him. 'I don't want my mother there alone.' Lily nodded in understanding, but still looked worried.

'You'll come by tomorrow, won't you?' she insisted. A small measure, but if it would reassure her, Severus was happy to oblige. He acquiesced.

'You better go pay the piper,' he reminded as Maggie Evans glanced out the window in ensure that Lily was in fact, still there and had not run off again.

She groaned in a very juvenile way, which Severus did not find as endearing as most of her qualities. 'I'll be grounded for _sure_,' she complained.

'Sooner you face up, sooner the punishment's over,' Severus remarked wisely, and she glared at him. 'Perhaps I better not come by, then, if you're going to be grounded,' he mused, and Lily instantly opened her mouth. 'I wouldn't want to get you into more trouble.'

'If you don't drop by, Severus Snape, and assure me that you're alright, I'll-' he grinned, what could Lily do that would discourage him to come by, especially when she wanted him to? Nothing that he could think of. '-Come by your house and drag you out to see for myself that you're okay.' Severus' smile faded.

'I promise, then, even if you're grounded.'

X

James rolled over in his sleep, a persistent voice rousing him, despite the fact that it was still dark outside. He swatted a hand in the general direction of the hand, muttering, 'five more minutes, Mum,' but the voice persisted.

'Oi, Prongs!' the voice yelled louder, and James finally started from his sleep, sitting up and looking around, confused. His mother didn't call him that, but none of the Marauders were here.

'_Lumos_,' he whispered, grabbing his wand from the bedside table. As the wand light brightened up the room, he heard the voice again, realising it was muffled and laughed, registering where the voice was coming from and he laughed.

'Bloody hell, Sirius,' he said, slightly annoyed as he opened his trunk, looking for the magical mirror. 'You woke me up.'

'No kidding,' Sirius replied sarcastically. 'It took you long enough to answer.'

'Keep talking,' James requested, as he tossed Quidditch robes, a Gryffindor scarf and a pile of parchment onto the recently vacated bed. 'I can't find you.'

'I'll give you a hint,' Sirius said, and James realised that he must've buried the mirror under an old set of pyjamas near the bottom by how muffled that sentence was. 'Look outside.' James paused, confused, but got up and walked to the window obediently, his brain still half asleep. There on the wet grass, stood Sirius. What was Padfoot doing here in the middle of the night? James realised he had voiced the question out loud, and again the voice came from his trunk.

'Let me in, will you?' Sirius asked. 'I'll explain inside.'

'Right, sorry,' James answered hastily, neglecting to grab slippers as he rushed downstairs to open up the front door for his best mate.

X

Severus got up early enough to avoid his father, a plan having formed in the back of his mind overnight. Realising he probably wouldn't get a chance to see Lily like he had promised if he implemented the plan, he hastily grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill, tearing a small piece off the end of the completed essay he had to send back to Professor McGonagall by week's end. He wrote quickly, his usually neat handwriting becoming messy as he penned the small letter, worried about her threat last night to drop by his house to ensure his wellbeing.

_Lily,_

_I know I promised to drop by, and I will if I can, but I have to do something today, and it'll probably take a while. I won't be home, though, don't worry. I'll tell you about it when I see you._

_Sev._

Dressing in muggle jeans and a sweatshirt that was much too big for him, he muttered a quick '_Tergeo_' to clean the mud stains off the knees of the jeans and grabbed his satchel, tiptoeing down the stairs, not wanting to wake his father in the next room, his mother probably sleeping next to the monster. Thankfully he had gotten home after Tobias had gone to sleep, and he had collapsed into bed, overtired and weary of all that had happened in the past few weeks, but wearing a smile as he remembered how Lily had delicately placed the plasters over his face gently. He was sure he looked ridiculous, with two plasters covering most of right cheek over the cut in a plastic cross, but he wasn't about to remove them. His face was still sore, to be sure, but not unbearably painful.

Skipping breakfast, he strode out the front door and into the light morning to Lily's house to deliver the letter.

X

Marion Potter was somewhat surprised to find a shaggy haired adolescent gorging himself on porridge the next morning next to her son, but she nevertheless let the boys finish their breakfast before she decided to find out what was going on and the circumstances of Sirius Black turning up unceremoniously in the middle of the night.

Some people whispered behind the Black's backs that they were mad or insane due to years of marrying their cousins and inbreeding. Having met Walburga and Orion several times throughout James' schooling, she was in no doubt that Sirius' parents were indeed strange to say the least, and clearly of the old pureblood type who considered muggleborns and half-bloods inferior. In Sirius himself though, she had noticed little of the boy's parent's opinions expressed, and James maintained that Sirius was nothing like his parents, and didn't get along with them all that well either.

She supposed the reason for Sirius' stay would come up soon enough.

X

Lily frowned after her father handed her the folded note he had found popped below the front door early this morning. Short and to the point, Severus never did ramble on like she had a tendency to do. She got the point of his note, though. Stay away from my house, it may as well have said in capital letters. She wondered if he was actually telling her the truth about being away from home, or that he was home, having been beaten by his father too savagely to make it to her house and hadn't wanted her to worry. She felt a spike of fear, but her father seemed to pick up on her train of thought.

'You're not going anywhere near that house, young lady,' he said sternly, looking at her from over the paper. He was in his old pinstriped pyjama bottoms that probably pre-dated her birth, they were so faded. The matching top had long since been thrown away by Maggie, and so a thin singlet sufficed for his upper torso. Lily admired her father, but she hoped to Merlin that she never inherited his fashion sense.

'Which house?' Lily asked, feigning innocence and reaching for the orange juice. That was one thing she did miss about the muggle world at Hogwarts, the lack of an enjoyable fruit juice to have first thing in the morning with breakfast. Pumpkin juice just wasn't the same as a good apple or orange. 'I'm grounded,' she reminded her father.

'I know,' he agreed. 'What did Severus say?'

'That he's going out for most of the day, probably,' she said, once again feeling her stomach drop at the thought that he might be seriously hurt. Just a few days ago she would have been happy if he never talked to her again, and here she was fretting about him. She shook her head and smiled just as Petunia walked in for breakfast. Severus certainly had a way of getting under her skin.

**Let me know what you think!**

**Also, I had quite a bit of trouble remembering what Britons call bandaids. Seriously, it took me a day and a half to figure that out. If anyone notices any glaringly obvious differences between Australian and British English that I use in this story, could you let me know? **

**Thanks for reading**

**~Matilda~**


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